“Amelie got you to quit.” Emphasis on “Amelie.” I’d been trying to get her to stop smoking for years. Cigarettes cost more than food. But I guess Amelie has more say than her own daughter. I can feel tears start to build in the corners of my eyes. I stare into the latte until they go away.

“Yeah. I’ve been crashing on her couch, working shifts at Christy’s.” She leans forward so fast it rocks the table. “Trying to save up to get back to you, baby girl.”

It sounds true. Sounds like something she would do. I can see her in black pants and a white pressed shirt at Christy’s. Talking good tips off people and pocketing them in an envelope marked Lou fund. But something doesn’t add up.

“Why didn’t you just ask Ginger for money? If that was all that was keeping you away?”

She leans back now and shoots a glare over at the next table where Melissa and Ginger are politely ignoring each other by typing on their phones.

“Because I don’t need a handout from my sister.” She can make “sister” sound like a dirty word. Seems like taking in your only daughter is a pretty big handout to me. I push through it.

“But then we could have been together sooner. Then it wouldn’t have taken eight weeks for you to get here.”

“Lou, honey, I love you, I do. And that’s why I knew it was best for you to live with family while I got myself together.” She starts peeling apart the soggy tissue on the table. “But you’ve got to let me do things my way in my own time.”

“But it’s not just about you!” I yell, because the anger that’s been building for weeks now has finally sparked. I am blazing mad. “It’s not just your time. It’s my time and Ginger’s time and Dan’s time and you didn’t even call!”

This was a huge mistake. Being around Mom is like being around a blaring siren. She is one of my triggers. I’ve got to get out of here. I stand with my back to her. “I’m ready to go.”

“Lou, baby, don’t be like that,” Mom says to my back.

“Take your guitar.” I nudge it away from me with my foot, still not looking at her. “I don’t want it anymore.” I’m waiting for Ginger, who is frozen, to get a move on already.

Melissa calmly checks her watch and says, “You’ve still got seventeen minutes. You sure you’re done, Lou?”

Behind me, I hear Mom sigh.

My hands are shaking inside my pockets, and my heart feels cracked wide open by this woman who I can’t even talk to anymore.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”