Kaveh grunted and began hauling himself in the direction he assumed Nikola was referring to. It took a few minutes, as by “top of the hill,” he meant the place with the best vantage point, which wasn’t easily accessible for someone who hiked as little as he did. I need to hike more. I should have seen this coming. I should have known that my path as a journalist would lead me to spending lots of time in the mountains with aliens.

Kaveh found Nikola in a clearing that had an unobstructed view of the Los Angeles basin. Between the long neck, the posture, and the big oblong head, it was hard not to see this being as an intelligent giant velociraptor, one that had elected to remove its jaw for aesthetic reasons. Nikola turned to him, his eyes flashing brightly in the sunlight as Kaveh continued his sad, out-of-shape tromp up the hill. Once he reached Nikola’s side, he looked down at the urban sprawl that had Nikola so captivated. Lines of concrete flowing over the flat basin of Los Angeles County like veins, veins clogged with vehicular cholesterol.

“Yep,” said Kaveh, still breathing heavily from his frantic climb up the hill. “This is us.”

“I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW HORRIFIED MY DEAR BELOVED MUST HAVE BEEN ONCE HE SAW THIS.”

“What do you mean?”

Nik unfurled two of his long digits and gestured leftward toward Altadena. “WE ARE NEAR WHERE MY DEAR BELOVED MADE LANDFALL. HE DID SO HERE BECAUSE THIS WAS AN AREA THAT WAS GEOGRAPHICALLY WELL DOCUMENTED BY SIMILARS WHO HAD STUDIED THIS AREA CENTURIES PRIOR. AT THE TIME OF OUR MOST RECENT INTELLIGENCE, THIS BASIN WAS HOME TO NOT MORE THAN A FEW HUNDRED HUMANS. IMAGINE THE HORROR OF EXPECTING TO FIND FEW IF ANY NATIVES, AND INSTEAD FINDING MILLIONS. HOW MANY MILLIONS OF HUMANS LIVE JUST WHERE WE CAN SEE? IT IS HORRIFYING, AND EVEN MORE HORRIFYING WHAT HE MUST HAVE HAD TO EXTRAPOLATE.”

“What’s that?”

“THAT IF THERE ARE MILLIONS OF HUMANS IN THIS AREA, THERE MUST BE BILLIONS ON THE PLANET. WHAT COULD HAVE CAUSED SUCH A POPULATION EXPLOSION? HOW DID YOUR TECHNOLOGY ADVANCE SO QUICKLY? IT IS SO UNLIKE OUR OWN ANCESTORS’ ADVANCEMENT, WHICH IS WHY WE DID NOT RECOGNIZE IT FOR WHAT IT WAS. NONE OF US WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT IT POSSIBLE THAT ANY NATURAL SPECIES COULD MAKE SUCH AN ADVANCEMENT SO QUICKLY. NOW THAT I AM NO LONGER MEDICATED, I ADMIT, IT IS FRIGHTENING. YOU ARE FRIGHTENING.”

Kaveh snorted. “Well, you have a point. We are the species that produced Bill Maher.”