“Maybe, but right now the only thing I’m sure of is that there ain’t nothing I can be sure of.”

“What is it about me that you ain’t sure of?”

“What you want.”

“I probably want the same things Cadillac talks about and at times the same things Chilly threatened you about. The only difference between them and me is there are limits to what I will do. And that brings us to what you want, Ellington, which is protection.”

“That’s not true!”

“Oh, it’s true enough, especially since you didn’t say it was a lie. And there’s nuthin wrong with that. Some cats join the Muslims. Others lift weights. But most, like you, find a road dog they can talk and walk with. Don’t think I ain’t been using you, too. I got a lot a time to do, and since you been here I been doing it off you. And when you leave I’ll find someone else to do it off of. So don’t feel bad about showing some signs a weakness. Every man in here got some cauliflower in their heart. And don’t let nobody fool you. The cats that got the most are those that claim to be something more than just a man.”

There was no way I could follow that. And I didn’t even want to. It was the kind of solo work that reminded me of Gene Ammons playing Willow Weep for Me, without ever making it sound like he’s copping a plea.

Being around Hardknocks was like listening to the Count Basie Band doing April in Paris. No matter how many times you heard the tune, you just had to hear them do it “one more time.”

Chilly never got the chance to stick it to me. He was sent back to court on a writ in another case he was involved in. When he didn’t return, the rumor circulated that he went into court with a paper bag over his head and testified against his co-defendants as part of a deal with the district attorney. After the trial he was shipped to Sandstone, a joint in Minnesota where snitchers are sent. A few months later, the word was that Chilly had been stabbed to death in his sleep.

When I had completed half my sentence, I went up before the parole board. I took some advice from Hardknocks along with me on the varieties of truth that will and won’t set you free.

“Well, Melvin, your record shows that you’ve done quite well since you’ve been here. Do you think that’s an accurate assessment of your conduct?”

“If it means I’ve adjusted to being here, that’s true.”

“Do you think the time you’ve spent here has been helpful?”

“I think so.”

“In what way?”

“Well, I’ve had a lot of time to think and I realize now the government was correct in sending me here.”

“So your views have changed since you’ve been here.”

“Yes, they have.”