Tina slammed the bedroom door shut behind her and stood with her back resting against it. Her chest was heaving, she could feel the start of a panic attack building. Breathe, breathe. She sat down and gripped the edge of the white cotton duvet, took a few more breaths before reaching down to pull a small suitcase from under the double bed. She slowly unzipped it, pulled something out.

Tina ran a single finger softly over a white hand-knitted cardigan. It was so small, so tiny. A woman had been selling them on the local market the year before and she just couldn’t help herself, she had to buy one. She went back every week after that for months: bootees, mittens, all matching sets. And for what? Tina held the cardigan to her cheek and stroked it softly. Maybe she should have given them away instead of tormenting herself whenever she was upset or feeling down.

She could hear someone on the landing and quickly put everything back and pushed the case back under the bed. The bedroom door opened slowly, the bright light from the landing making her screw up her eyes.

‘Are you alright? I don’t want to argue with you, Tina. I love you.’ Chris stood shadowed in the doorway. She sniffed and lay down flat on the bed, dragging the duvet over her body. Her voice was low.

‘I’m a good person, Chris, I never hurt anybody. I just feel like a failure.’

He moved further into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, putting his hand on top of hers. ‘I know, love. Come here and let me hold you. I hate seeing you upset. You’ve been through so much lately. Come here.’ Chris pulled her towards him and looked deep into her eyes, wiping the tears away with the corner of his shirt. ‘It’s all going to be OK. Honest, love, we will get through this.’

Tina started to cry again. ‘I’m broken. I can’t explain what is happening to me. I just feel empty all the time. Will this ever pass?’ Chris looked at the ceiling. It was not a conversation he wanted to get into – he was hurting too; she just never saw it.

‘Shhh, baby. It will all be fine, hush now.’

Chapter Ten

Frankie looked around Ged’s front room. ‘It’s an alright gaff that you have here, Ged, pretty smart.’

Ged plonked himself down on the sofa and flicked his shoes off as he set the Xbox up. ‘My mam is a right clean freak; she hates any mess. I swear if I fart, she’s there with the air freshener two seconds later.’