Bridget clung to the idea, and it gave her a crumb of comfort. After a few more minutes scraping about in the cupboard, groaning and grunting, Fanny dragged herself upright. ‘It’s not there! He must have had it away when me back were turned. I’ll skin the bugger alive when I get me hands on him.’ Rubbing the rising bump on her forehead she grimaced. ‘There ain’t nothing safe. Not even my little treats.’

‘Who are you talking about? Who’s had what away?’

‘Bill Norman, that’s who.’ Pointing to her swollen belly, she cried angrily, ‘The randy devil who did this. What! The next time I clap eyes on him, he’ll wish he’d never been born.’

‘Don’t get yourself in a state, Fanny. Whatever it was, we can do without it. Look. I’ll make us a cup of tea and we’ll have some of that nice fruit cake you keep.’

‘You’ll do no such thing. Stay where you are.’

‘Please, Fanny. You’ve got yourself all flustered about something that doesn’t really matter.’ In fact, Fanny worried her; she was breathing heavily and her face had gone a shade of grey.

Fanny would have none of it. ‘I’ll get the tea,’ she said stubbornly. ‘I ain’t got no fruit cake, but I reckon there’s a barmcake left. We’ll share it.’ Before Bridget could answer, she was off to the kitchen, her steps a bit slower, and no wonder, considering she was two weeks off giving birth.

Feeling rested, Bridget followed her to the kitchen, and while Fanny buttered the barmcake, Bridget made the tea.

Settling themselves in opposite chairs by the empty fireplace, they looked at one another and began to giggle. ‘What do we look like?’ Fanny spluttered. ‘Too fat to be comfortable in the chair, and too bleedin’ awkward to walk across a room without us arses draggin’ the floor.’

‘You speak for yourself,’ Bridget laughed. ‘Yours is bigger than mine any day.’

Reluctantly, Fanny had to agree. ‘Here’s to us,’ she said, raising her cup in the air, ‘and bugger the men. Who needs ’em?’ She smiled wickedly. ‘Matter o’ fact, I’ve a bit o’ news to tell yer. Bill’s wife found out about us, and now she’s threatening to pack her bags and clear off. When he managed to sneak away and see me, he had a prime black eye she’d given him. He’s in a right state, I can tell yer. She’s leading him a right merry dance, and that’s a fact. Poor old sod. I feel really sorry for him.’

‘I thought you said you two were discreet.’

‘We were.’

‘So how did she find out?’

‘According to Bill, somebody shoved a note under the front door. Told her everything, it did. Well, she just went mad, as you can imagine.’

‘And you’ve no idea who it was?’

‘I might have.’ The smile spread slowly over her face until she was grinning from ear to ear.

Bridget’s mouth fell open. ‘It was you!’

‘It were Bill who forced me to it. If he’d been man enough to tell her before I looked like a ship in battle, I’d never have had to stoop so low.’ She began giggling. ‘Matter o’ fact, when I bent to slide the note under the door, I could hardly get up again. I thought she’d open the door and catch me at it there and then.’