He back now from having his hand sewed up. He sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee, he done bought some cigarettes and he smoking one after another. Done been quit two years, say it the hardest thing he ever done. He say he never stop wanting one, that he have to brace himself every day. Now he done started back. She know: This what she done to him.

Angel not drinking anything. Don’t mean she don’t have nothing. Just can’t have it right now. He awake now. Later he be asleep. He think the house clean. House ain’t clean. Lots of places to hide things, you want to hide them bad enough. Ain’t like Easter eggs, like Christmas presents. Like life and death.

Wouldn’t never think on her wedding night it ever be like this. She in the living room by herself, he in the kitchen by himself. TV on, she ain’t watching it, some fool on Johnny Carson telling stuff ain’t even funny. She ain’t got the sound on. Ain’t hear nothing, ain’t see nothing. She hear him like choke in there once in a while. Randy in the bed asleep. Want so bad to get up and go in there and tell Alan, Baby I promise I will quit. Again. But ain’t no use in saying it, she don’t mean it. Just words. Don’t mean nothing. Done lost trust anyway. Lose trust, a man and wife, done lost everything. Even if she quit now, stay quit, he always be looking over that shoulder, he always be smelling her breath. Lost his trust she won’t never get it back.

He come in there where she at finally. He been crying, she tell it by looking at him. He not hurting for himself, he not hurting for his hand. He cut off his hand and throw it away she ask him to. He hurting for her. She know all this, don’t nobody have to tell her. Why it don’t do no good to talk to her. She know it all already.

“Baby,” he say. “I goin to bed. Had a long day today.”

His face look like he about sixty years old. He thirty-one. Weigh one sixty-five and bench press two-ninety. “You comin?” he say.

She want to. Morning be soon enough to drink something else. He be gone to work, Randy be gone to school. House be quiet by seven-thirty. She do what she want to then. Whole day be hers to do what she want to. Things be better tomorrow maybe. She cook them something good for supper, she make them a good old pie and have ice cream. She get better. They know she trying. She just weak, she just need some time. This thing not something you throw off like a cold. This thing deep, this thing beat more good people than her.