“Hey, Velma,” I said. “I’m Leon. Remember me?”

She poked her head in the car. I turned on the interior light so she could see him.

“What’s the matter with him?” she said. She looked at her watch. “He’s two hours late.”

“I believe he’s having a little sinking spell. I’m surprised you waited this long.”

“What’d you do? Take him off and get him drunk?”

I thought about it. I remembered how nasty she’d been when her brothers got killed, but that had been understandable. On the other hand, I didn’t know why Monroe was messing around with her, even though he’d said that her nooky was excellent. That was probably true, based on the fact that the worst I’ve ever had was wonderful.

“Yeah,” I said. “I tied him down and taped a funnel on his mouth and then poured ten Old Milwaukees down him. Then I poured four shots of peppermint schnapps down him. Then I poured two shots of whiskey down him. Then I poured a snifter of brandy down him. Then I poured two martinis down him. Then he puked. But I kept pouring it down him. Then I opened a bottle of tequila.”

“Oh bullshit,” she said. She went around to the passenger side and got in. “Just drive me uptown,” she said. “I’ll get him sobered up after awhile. You got a beer in here?”

“Trunk’s full of it.”

“Well, how about getting me one out?”

“That your daddy looking out the window?”

“Yeah. He watches me like a hawk now. Where’s that beer?”

The ice broke after she got one down her. I had a little of the joint left and we shared that. By the time we got to town we were laughing and talking and singing along with Monroe’s tapes. I felt a little guilty, but he was still sleeping on the back seat. When we got to the bar he was still asleep, and she had wormed her way over next to me in the seat. When we pulled up and stopped, she said she didn’t really want to go in, and could we ride around a little longer? I said sure.

I can’t remember anything that happened after that. I know a lot of things happened, but I can’t remember what they were.

48

We were in a ditch when we woke up. It was muddy, and we had mud all over us. Mud was all over the seats. It had caked on the dash, on our clothes, on the headliner. We were way up in the woods somewhere, as usual. The sun was shining. It was nine o’clock in the morning. My mouth felt like a wad of cotton, and mosquitoes had feasted on us all night long. He was still asleep on the back seat. I woke him up and we flipped a coin to see who’d walk out to the road and flag somebody down to come pull us out. He won. Or lost.

49