I curl my lip and pluck it from between his sausage fingers. “I knew that,” I mutter, pulling the Post-it off the front. “All signed.” I give him a cheesy smile as I slip the pages into a stapler and smack the top before cockily presenting them to him. His face is straight. Unamused. “Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning?”

“Fuck you.”

I laugh and find the accounts again, having a casual flick through. “You’ve seen these?”

“Yeah. Very healthy.”

“Aren’t they just,” I muse, looking at the net profit, the only line I need to see.

“I’m expecting a healthy . . .” John fades off when Ava appears, placing a glass of wine in front of me. Both John and I stare at it for a few seconds as I shift in my chair. God love her. I swallow and reach for the glass, even the feel of it in my grasp feeling odd, and John watches me with an interest I don’t like.

“I’m fine,” I say to her, detesting her slightly injured state. I force a smile, my hand beginning to tremble the longer I’m holding the wine. I don’t want to drink it. Not at all. But I also don’t want it in my grasp. “Thank you, baby. I’m driving.”

“Oh, sorry.” She smiles awkwardly. I hate that too. Fuck, I hate myself right now.

“Don’t be,” I say. “You have it. I got the wine for you.”

She nods, accepting the glass, and I feel like a ton of bricks has been removed from my shoulders the second it’s out of my grasp. I flick John a look. His serious expression, despite being pretty serious permanently, forces me to look away. “Don’t say it,” I whisper, finding the accounts again. “What went down in the communal room?”

“A miscommunication between members. Nothing more.”

“Good.” I sign the accounts and rest back in my chair, as John lifts from his. He looks across my office to Ava, and I follow his eyes. She’s reading a magazine she’s found. Totally absorbed. Completely oblivious to what is going on upstairs.

“I’ll leave you to it,” he rumbles, leaning over my desk. “Do it.”

“I’ve tried, John,” I whisper. “Believe me, a million fucking times, I’ve tried.”

“Try harder.”

“I’m going fucking crazy.” I move in closer, checking Ava is still distracted. “Do you know what I did today?” I don’t give him time to ask. “I talked to Jake. I’m talking to my dead fucking brother. That’s how crazy I feel right now.” A brother Ava knows nothing about.

He lifts his shades, revealing eyes that are nothing less than alarmed. “And what did he say?”

I lean back, cautious, wondering if I should divulge more. Undoubtedly, I shouldn’t, it’ll only encourage John to remain on my case, but I need to share and John is my only outlet. “He told me to buy some leathers.”