“So he has to fuck twice or what, it throws his game off?” she asks. I have no answer for her, but she doesn’t let it bother her. “How was it?”

“It was fine,” I say, avoiding her eyes.

“Hold on for just one second,” she snaps, and I look at her. “You are never one not to boast about shit. Especially the epicness of all things related to your vagina.”

“I mean, my vagina is magic,” I say, laughing.

“On a scale of one to ten.” She sits back and puts her arms up on the back of the couch, and I know she’s just waiting for it. “How good was he?”

“Ten,” I answer her honestly. “He is hands down the best I’ve ever had.”

“Like ever?” she asks me, confused. “Since you started having sex?”

“Yes,” I finally say, letting it all out. “He is the best I’ve ever had. Hands down the biggest I’ve ever had.” My brain is telling my mouth to stop, but I can’t. “Honestly, I thought my vagina would be bruised.” I start to open my legs to show her, and she yells.

“I don’t want to see your bruised vagina, woman!” she yells while she turns her head and puts her hand in front of her face.

“I’ve seen four human heads come out of your vagina, and you can’t look at mine?” I stand, putting my hands on my hips.

“That is different,” she says, getting up now. “That’s a natural thing.”

My hand shushes her away. “Oh, please.” She turns and looks at me now.

“Is he really that good?” she asks, and I nod.

“Better, and it’s a shame I won’t be able to give it another go,” I tell her, sitting back down. “Like really, really bad. I swear if they made vibrators out of his cock, I would buy it in bulk.”

“Why can’t you give it another go?” She sits back down herself and grabs another croissant.

“I have a rule, Karrie, and I stick to my rule, so there isn’t anything cloudy,” I tell her. “You know this.”

“But what if you like him?” she asks me, and I want to tell her that I do like him. I like the way he smiles, and the way he looks at me. I like that he’s private, and I like that he talks to his parents everyday.

“I like him,” I answer her. “But I like a lot of people. Take Thor, for example. I like him a lot.”

“Vivienne, one of these days, you are going to fall in love,” she says softly, and it’s my turn to gasp.

“That is the most hateful thing you have ever said to me, and now you’ve put that into the universe.” I put my hands up, shaking. “It’s like bad mojo.”

“You mean karma,” she corrects me.