“No shit,” she says and then walks over to the cabinet and comes back with tequila. After pouring two shots, she tells me to drink.

“I like him, Karrie,” I whisper to her and take a shot, the liquid burning all the way down. “Like, like him.”

“There is nothing wrong with that,” she tells me, and I look at her.

“Everything is wrong with that!” I shout. “I don’t want to like him. I don’t want to have that feeling and then be let down when he leaves.”

“What if he doesn’t leave?” she asks me, and I take the second shot she poured. I take it and don’t answer the question.

“I can’t be friends with him,” I tell her. “I thought I could, but I can’t.”

“You kept the fish.” She gasps. “Oh my God.”

“I don’t think he wants it,” I tell her and then pour myself another shot. “He hasn’t asked about Elsa once.”

“You named the fish Elsa?” She holds her stomach while she laughs.

“I’m going to put an ad in the paper looking for a new friend,” I tell her, and she laughs even harder, but I just shake my head. Instead of going out, I have food delivered. She doesn’t bring up Mark again, and when she leaves with kisses and hugs, I send him a thank-you text.

Me: Thank you for the books. I didn’t know books came without pictures! Mind blown.

He doesn’t answer me, and I put the phone down. I think about that last time we were together, in the shower at my house, and I walk to my bedroom and take out my treasure chest that I keep. A woman can never have enough toys. I put the box on the bed and take out my purple trusted friend. I have been around the block a time or two with this one. I lie on the bed and close my eyes, seeing Mark in my head. His body, his arms, his fingers, his cock. I’m so turned on my nipples ache. I play with myself over and over again, but I never, ever get my happy ending. Maybe I need to relax, I think to myself, so I start a bath and bring my waterproof toy with me. The warm water makes me relax, but I just can’t get myself there. I grab my iPad and put on porn and nothing. I spend the whole night playing with myself to the point of exhaustion, and the next day, I call Karrie crying.

“He broke it,” I say into the phone.