I stop making my coffee and snap at her. “I am over him.” I’m hoping she doesn’t call me on anything, but she’s Karrie, and she knows me better than I know myself.

“Bullshit,” she says to me. “You are not over him at all.” I roll my eyes and take a sip of the hot coffee. “When you saw him, how did you feel?”

“Horny and wet,” I tell her the truth.

“I mean you, not your vagina,” she groans.

“I felt nothing,” I lie to her, and she doesn’t say anything. “Okay, fine. I felt happy to see him, but it’s just because I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“You felt happy to see him,” she repeats what I just said. “And the reason you felt like that is because you missed him.”

“Karrie,” I say her name. “You’re not helping.”

“I’m trying to help,” she says softly. “But unless you admit that you liked him …”

“Of course, I liked him,” I say, sitting on the couch. The stinging of tears hits my eyes, but I blink them away fast. “That isn’t the issue here.”

“You never let anyone in the way you let him in,” she points out. “You never let anyone close enough to like them before, so …?”

“How long before this feeling goes away?” I ask.

“Well, let’s see. I’ve loved Matthew for what twelve years, so I’m thinking never.” She laughs, and I groan. “But maybe being friends with him will help.”

“Yes, because spending more time with someone I like is going to help the feelings go away.” I exhale loudly.

“You never know,” she says. “Maybe you need to put him in the friend zone to get him out of the like zone.”

“I don’t want him in any of my zones,” I tell her. “I want it to be a no-Mark zone.”

“You need to be in control of this,” Karrie says, her voice going louder. “You need to be the one in charge of this, so if he wants to be friends, you be friends with him and make sure he stays in that zone.”

“But what if I can’t just be friends with him?” I ask softly.

“Then I think you guys need to talk about it,” Karrie says. “You are the most honest person I know. You need to be honest with him also.”

“I do,” I tell her, knowing I have to.

“I mean, what is the worst thing that can happen?” she asks, and I stop myself before I answer her. The beeping noise lets me look at my phone, and I see that it’s Mark.

“It’s him,” I tell her, and she laughs. “I’m breaking up with you,” I tell her and then disconnect going to the other line. “Allo,” I answer.