My mother puts her arm around me and hugs me close. “Mark, you need a woman who will be there waiting for you,” she says, and Chris groans. “It’s not healthy to be alone all the time.”

“How do you know he’s alone all the time?” my father asks her as we slowly walk toward my house. “Maybe he has someone.” My mother stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk, and she puts her hands on her hips. She stands there in jeans and my jersey, and I swear she looks like she is thirty.

“Markos Stefano Dimitris,” she says my full name.

“Shit just got real,” Chris says besides me. “It’s never a good thing when she uses the middle name.”

“You.” She points at my brother. “Stay out of this or else.” She glares, and just like that, I feel like I’m in high school again when she found my Playboy stash.

“Do you have a someone?” my mother asks me. “Surely, if you had someone, you would introduce us. I mean, I’m your mother.” She puts her hands on her chest, and now it’s my father who rolls his eyes.

“Mom,” I say, going to her. “I don’t have anyone.” I try to smile, but the burning in the pit of my stomach stops me from doing it. “And the minute that I do have that person in my life, you will be the first one to meet her.”

“You promise?” she asks with tears in her eyes. “I just worry about you.” She puts her hand on my cheek. “All alone in the big city.”

“Jesus, he’s thirty,” my brother says and throws up his hands.

“I worry about you, too,” my mother says now, crossing her arms over her chest. “Do you have someone?”

“Mom,” he says. “I have many, which is why you will meet none.”

“You know, your dick can fall off,” my mother tells him, and now my father groans. “If you use it too much, it can fall off. The skin is very thin.”

“Can someone please stop her?” Chris looks at my father, then back at my mother “My dick is not going to fall off.”

“I saw it on Dr. Phil once. It can be caused by unlubricated sex,” my mother says, looking at all three of us.

“I will pay you money if you never say unlubricated sex again for the rest of my life,” Chris says to her and then looks at my father. “Do something, please.”