I wait for him and Dylan to come and get me, and when he drives home, all I can do is look out the window. Dinner is quiet also, and he passes on going to the pool. I know it’s the end. When Dylan and I come back from the pool, he’s sitting outside, looking at the view. “We’re back.”

“Oh, yeah,” he says, and Dylan comes out, and he grabs him and brings him close to him and buries his face in his neck. “I love you,” he tells him, and then he puts him on his lap, facing out, and holds him as they watch the sun go down. I try not to sob. I try not to show my pain; after all, I’m good at hiding things. It’s only when I step under the shower do I allow the tears to fall.

Same story, just a prettier bathroom. I get out and get dressed, and when I walk out of the bathroom, he’s there sitting on the bed waiting for me. His eyes are down and papers are beside him, and I have to hold the doorframe to be able to stand. I love him so much that if me leaving is going to make him happy, I’ll do it. “Is everything okay?” I try to talk without my voice cracking.

“No,” he says and looks down at the floor, and my heart is shattered.

“I get it,” I say, and he looks up. “It was a whirlwind, and everything happened so fast.” He looks at me. “I’m just going to sleep with Dylan, and we can be out of here tomorrow.”

“What?” he says.

“I get it, Justin,” I say, the tears falling now. “It’s fine.” I smile, not wanting him to feel sorry for me or want to be with me because I’m crying. “We’ll be okay.”

“I’m so confused right now,” he says.

“It’s over.” I say it for him, although I shouldn’t. I should make him do the dirty work.

“What’s over?” he asks, confused, and I want to yell at him to stop pretending.

“Us.” I point at him and then myself. “This thing.”

“We aren’t over,” he says, scoffing at me even saying that. “Far from it.”

Now I’m the one who is confused. “Andrew came to see me.”

“What?” I look at him and take a step forward.

He holds up the paper for me. “I did it for you,” he says. “For Dylan.”

My head spins as I try to think about what he did for us, what more can this man could do for us. I grab the paper in my shaking hands, and I unfold it and it looks like a case file and my eyes go line from line until I see the words.

Termination of Parental Rights.