I try not to let the tears come, but they come anyway, and the look on Justin’s face goes from a smile to a worried look. He looks at me, his eyes never leaving mine.

“Mom, we got you something!” Dylan says, and I wipe the tears away and pretend to smile. He’s so excited about this surprise that he has for me that he doesn’t realize I was crying. He takes my hand in his and pulls me to the kitchen where two huge bouquets sit.

“This one is from me,” he says, pointing at the massive bouquet of purple flowers. “It’s just to tell you that I love you,” he says. I look at the flowers and realize it’s more flowers than I’ve ever seen in my whole life.

“Oh my God,” I whisper. The tear escapes, and I wipe it away. “This is the most beautiful,” I say to him, hugging him and trying not to sob.

“Mine is bigger than Justin’s,” he says with happiness in his voice.

“I’m trying to explain to him that size doesn’t matter,” Justin says, and I close my eyes. “It’s not working.” I let go of Dylan and see the bouquet next to his filled with colorful flowers in a glass vase with a lilac bow.

“Dylan, you can go play the game now while I talk to your mom.”

“Okay,” he says and is about to run out of the room. “Can I have a snack?”

“Yeah, there’s fruit on the table.” He points at the fruit bowl, and Dylan just hops and skips over, taking a green apple and then going away.

I avoid Justin’s eyes, knowing that I’m on the edge of a cliff and about to jump off. “Mind telling me why you are crying?”

I look down at my finger, and I feel him coming close to me. His hand covers mine, and with just his touch, I break down and put my other hand in front of my mouth and sob. He turns me around and takes me in his arms, and I swear he smells like home. “Sweetheart,” he says softly, and I start to shake. “I’m trying really hard right now not to freak out.”

He rubs my back and kisses the top of my head. “But I’ve been a nervous wreck all day, and I’ve wanted to call you, no lie, maybe a million times to find out if you were okay.”

Listening to his heartbeat, I avoid looking at him when I say the next words. “My apartment was vandalized.” I close my eyes when his body goes rock solid.