‘NO! NO POTTY!’

It was all Tully’s fault. Yesterday, when Miles had taken himself to the potty unprompted, Tully had had the audacity to think that it might be a good time to start potty training. Now she understood how stupid she’d been. Even if they weren’t in the middle of a financial crisis, marriage trouble and moving house, any idiot would have realised that Miles would develop a phobia of his potty. Why wouldn’t he, when he developed a phobia of everything else!

‘Fine,’ she said. ‘Put your nappy back on.’

‘No nappy! I not like nappy.’

Tully swore under her breath. Half the house was packed up in boxes. The only things that remained were their clothes and some staging furniture that was getting collected tomorrow. The last thing Tully needed was for Miles to take a dump on the Persian rug. They could barely afford the bill for staging let alone an additional cleaning fee. Not that Miles gave two hoots about what they could afford. He leaped now, bare-bottomed, onto the L-shaped couch. Tully was chasing after him when her phone beeped – a text message from Michelle.

Hey babe. Listen, I wanted to let you know, I heard some pre-school mums talking about you. They said you shoplifted from that homewares shop in Armadale. I told them it was ridiculous, don’t worry. Where do people even get this stuff? Michelle finished the message with the emoji of the woman in the purple dress holding her arms out in confusion.

Tully threw down the phone and fell onto the couch beside Miles. So this was it. Her fears had been realised. There was, she supposed, some sort of comfort in having nothing else to lose. Her marriage was a shambles, her youngest child was broken, and she’d been humiliated in her community. Really, what else was there?

The doorbell rang and Miles jumped, naked, from the couch and started running for the door. ‘Wait!’ Tully called. ‘Don’t answer the door. Wait for –’

But Miles didn’t wait. Apparently answering the door naked didn’t feature on his lengthy list of phobias. Luckily it was only Rachel. By the time Tully got there, Rachel was already holding Miles on her hip.

‘I did poop on the potty,’ Miles told her, beaming.

‘Clever boy,’ Rachel said. ‘Now, let’s play hide-and-seek. You hide, I’ll count. Go!’

Rachel put him down and he ran off happily towards the living room. It was like he was a different child. Why is he such an angel for everyone else? Tully wondered.

‘I think Miles hates me,’ Tully started, but before she could finish, Rachel took her by the arm and led her past mountains of boxes into the reception room off the foyer.

‘I found Fiona Arthur,’ Rachel said.

Tully frowned. ‘Wait. Who’s Fiona Arthur again?’

Rachel lowered her voice. ‘The woman whose name Mum wrote down.’

Miles appeared in the corner of the room, made a shushing gesture to Tully, and tucked himself behind the curtains.