“There are several. First, if I go alone, Mazus will underestimate me. You know how fucked up his views are about females. It will be easier for me to fly under the radar if there isn’t an entire Thayarian entourage with me. Second, there are very few individuals I would trust enough to bring with me, and I need all of them to stay with you. You’ll have Velmarans snooping around your court, not to mention the rising tensions with the rebellion. I want every possible advisor and guard with you.” Laurel rolls her eyes and tries to protest, but I interrupt her and keep going. “Third, if it’s just me, it’s a lot easier to get out if things go south. If I bring multiple people with me, I’ll feel responsible for their safety, and I can’t guarantee it. I won’t put others at risk.” I stare her down, hoping my gaze expresses what I cannot say. The wounds of the war have not healed for me. My own guilt at leading thousands of soldiers to their deaths still haunts me. The idea of taking even a single other person with me who might be killed because of me ignites a grief I cannot bear.

She sighs. “Are you absolutely certain this is what you want? Of course I trust you. You know you can do whatever you want after I protest a little first.” We both chuckle. “I just want you to be safe.”

I squeeze her hand. “I’m sure. I’ll be safe, and it’ll be easier to get out alone. Like I said, I promise to come home at the first sign of trouble.”

She takes a long sip of her wine and sighs. “Fine. What else do we need to sort out before you leave?”

“Carex can take over my spy network, loath as I am to give him that role.” Laurel smiles knowingly. “If my spies uncover any of the rebel plans, they’ll report it. But… we haven’t been able to infiltrate them so far.”

“You should be nicer to Carex. He means well,” Laurel says, and I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

“Despite what you may think, I am capable of putting my feelings for him aside when making decisions about the kingdom. As the Captain of the Royal Guard, he’s the right choice as my replacement for our intelligence efforts. Plus, he’s so in love with you he’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

Laurel snorts and rolls her eyes. “We can agree to disagree on that front. He was the one who decided we weren’t right for each other. But you’ve covered everything, as usual. I’ll have to hope I can find something to stop the rebels while you’re gone.”