“My favorite place in the palace is the archives, but they would underwhelm you after a lifetime spent in Velmara’s archives.” She starts to protest, but I laugh and cut her off. “They would. Velmara’s archives are a hundred times what Thayaria has. Maybe more.” I look down at my hands, deciding to open up and tell her about my real favorite place. “My family kept a cabin deep in the mountains to the east of the capital. Even after my parents died, I would go there every few months just to sit with the quiet. It’s very different from here. You can barely see for all the trees that cover the landscape. It’s eerie to some, but I love the feeling of being surrounded by the wild. Where you feel like you’re in the middle of the sky here, I feel like I’m just another tree there, part of a larger ecosystem that’s bigger than any of my problems. Part of a forest that will remain long after I’m gone.”

She studies my face quietly, eyes searching. For what, I’m not sure. “You must have had the weight of many problems on your shoulders there,” she finally says. Her honesty cuts like a knife. She’s so quick to spot the truth of my feelings. But somehow, her calling them out so openly and directly makes them easier to talk about.

“Not so much in recent years. But after the war with Velmara… I disappeared into that cabin for far too long. Left my friend to deal with the aftermath on her own. I couldn’t bear the weight of my guilt. My mother had always taught me that the most important battle strategy is knowing which you can win and which you can’t. Laurel—the Queen—and I, we forgot that lesson after our parents died. And it cost us everything.” My eyes drop to the ground as I think about what that everything entailed. Our childhood and young adulthood, the safety of the kingdom, thousands of Thayarian lives, our sense of hope for anything good in the world. Our ability to form meaningful relationships with anyone but each other.

Genevieve’s soft hand wraps around mine and squeezes.

“You were so young,” she soothes, but I scoff.