A Brief History of Modern Thayaria

“We don’t know how any of this works,” I slowly explain to Thorne. It takes more willpower than I want to admit not to straddle him where he sits, water glistening off his toned and naked body. I’ve imagined him shirtless and naked so many times, and yet, nothing compares to the real thing. I shake away the lust addling my brain and continue. “Until a few hours ago, I thought mates were a myth.” He nods thoughtfully. The second I said I wanted to wait, he honored my request and pulled away, keeping his hands and eyes away from my naked body.

“Of course,” he says resolutely. “We’ll take it slow, figure this out one step at a time. Whatever you need.” He looks at me with so much understanding, like he can see through all of my blustering and excuses and knows that it’s fear that keeps me from going further with him. I almost cave right then and there and give in to the months-long need that’s been burning in me, but the news of Nemesia’s betrayal still rattles in my mind. There’s just too much information for me to process right now, especially with my emotions in the fragile state they’re in, and I’m grateful that Thorne seems to understand that without me having to say it. We have to take this slowly and carefully, with research and consideration of the facts.

He gives me a cocky grin, breaking me out of my thoughts. “I still can’t believe that you thought I was sleeping with Silene. After telling you there was nothing between us and shamelessly flirting with you! I can’t decide if I’m offended you think of me as the kind of male who would do that, or elated you think highly enough of my ability to seduce two females.” I blush, embarrassment washing through me for believing the worst of him. I too can see through Thorne’s blustering, and I can tell this hurts him more than he wants to admit. If I’m honest with myself, though, I’m not sure I ever truly believed it. I used it as an excuse to avoid confronting my complicated emotions about Thorne, and I want—need—him to know that.

“Thorne, I—forgive me. It was an easy excuse I used to keep you at a distance. I had a million opportunities to ask Silene, and I didn’t take them.” I lower my head in shame, but he forces me to look at him. He breaks my somber mood with a cocky grin.