When the episode passes, I force myself to move forward. After a quick bath, I dress in loose trousers and an oversized tunic, braiding my wet hair. I stroke Lunaria’s head for several minutes. She slowly blinks her eyes at me, and calm washes over my tense body. When I’m done, I feel ready to face the consequences of my failure, so I once again aerstep into the Velmaran apartment.

Only Silene is in the sitting room when I arrive, and wariness makes her body tense when she spots me. “Thorne, Fionn,” she calls. “Her Majesty is here.”

I hide the hurt that she uses my title, knowing that it’s my own fault for how I behaved yesterday. Fionn quickly walks to stand in front of Silene, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at me. I raise my hands in silent supplication. Thorne only leans effortlessly in the doorway of Fionn’s room, staring at me with a look that says I have some explaining to do.

“I came to apologize,” I say quickly. “I was out of line yesterday. My guilt and fear were overwhelming, and I took that out on you. I’m sorry.” Shoulders slumping, my gaze locks on my feet in shame. Warm arms wrap around me, and Silene’s cinnamon scent soothes my aching chest. I stiffen awkwardly, not sure what to do.

“We understand, Laurel. Yesterday was awful. There were no good choices. For any of us,” she soothes, and my arms involuntarily return the embrace. It’s the first time I’ve hugged someone other than a lover since the war. Nemesia and I have never embraced one another, not even when she left for Velmara.

Silene squeezes tighter before releasing me, and I survey the room as she backs away. Fionn still looks pissed, his hulking frame poised to attack should I make any wrong moves near Silene. Hawthorne eyes me skeptically from the doorframe before walking closer with an unaffected grace that I could only dream of pulling off.

“You left. In the middle of our argument,” is all he says when he reaches me. My eyes drop to the ground again.

“I know. I’m not good with conflict. I get angry, and that scares me, so I leave before I can hurt anyone,” I admit, emotion making my throat tight, and I fear those tears from earlier will return.