He rolls his eyes as energy courses between us. “If we’d left, it would have told the rebels exactly what we were doing. Not only would they have continued this attack, but they likely would have been able to get more thayar without me hiding most of it from them. They would have packed up their headquarters and moved out, returning you to exactly where you were before with no idea where they are or what they’re planning. Countless more would have died. That, Your Majesty, is the epitome of short-term thinking.” Those mossy, olive-green eyes alight with challenge as he smirks in a way that brings out his insufferable dimple. No biting retort comes to me. He’s right, but I don’t want to admit it. Hawthorne continues, leaning in close so our lips are only inches apart. “The greater good, Laurel. That’s the decision I made. And if we’re going to be allies, you’re going to have to trust me to make those kinds of decisions.”

I want to snap back that we are not, will never be, allies. Not with everything that’s happened between Velmara and Thayaria, between his father and me. Not when even now, in this very moment, I’m debating whether I should kill him and his entourage. Instead, I turn in place and aerstep away, running from the conflict and the way it ignites my blood and my magic.

The next morning, shame courses through me at my reaction to the Velmarans. I laid in bed last night, alternating between chastising myself for what happened and replaying the Prince’s words over and over again. He was right—he’d made the difficult decision I’m not sure I would have made. Not only that, but he’d kept his cool and helped mitigate the theft while silently reminding me to play pretend in the heat of the moment. He took action, something I’ve never been able to bring myself to do, while keeping me from ruining our only chances of learning more because of my quick temper.

Once again, someone else had to intervene to keep me from my worst instincts. Something I repaid by using the aether-voice on him and his friends, taking away his agency even though he would have happily given me the information. It was unspeakable, and every decision I’ve made up to this point has been the wrong one.