‘Beatrice,’ Rosa said softly. ‘He is so very sad. And he doesn’t want to be here. You will bring him to life if you ride the carousel.’

Beatrice gazed at the prancing horses and could no longer be completely sure that Rosa was lying. Perhaps she was correct, and putting things right with her mother would lead to her marrying Eustace somehow. But, in that moment, Beatrice didn’t care.

‘Surely you would w-want me to ch-change the past in that w-way,’ she said. ‘It would f-free you. You would m-marry someone else. H-Have other ch-children—’

‘I don’t want other children!’ Rosa exclaimed. ‘I want the one right here with me! The one I have loved and cherished for over a year! The children I loved in some other life aren’t here. Ada is.’

‘But y-you would not know the d-difference—’

‘Not if you rip it all from me, but I know the difference now, and I can fight for Ada now! I know it’s a mess of a life. I know I made all the wrong decisions. But it is my life even so, and the joy could not have come without the sorrow, so I will accept both, and gladly.’ Her voice lowered. ‘Please. I don’t want to think any more about what might have been or should have been. We have only what is right in front of us now. Think of my daughter. She has no one to cherish her but me. She was born into so much darkness, yet she is … the best thing ever to have happened …’

Rosa trailed off hopelessly. Words were not adequate and she despaired of being able to make Beatrice understand how much she loved this small person.

‘I think perhaps the carousel was a mistake. You see, there would be no end to it,’ she struggled on. ‘Every life has its imperfections and mistakes. You change one decision and later on down the line there would be another one. For better or worse, this is my life, and these are my mistakes, and I want it all.’

‘Th-that is because your g-greatest mistake l-led to your g-greatest h-happiness,’ Beatrice replied. ‘N-Not so f-for m-me.’

‘Perhaps it will one day,’ Rosa said. ‘Perhaps it’s simply that you haven’t found your greatest happiness yet. It could be just around the corner.’

Beatrice was already shaking her head.

‘Wonderful things can come out of our darkest times,’ Rosa said in a hoarse tone. ‘I truly believe that. And it doesn’t mean that we invite misfortune, or want to make mistakes or be unhappy. It only means that we refuse to be beaten down by whatever life throws our way, and we don’t stop until we find ourselves in the place where we can rest and be content. I haven’t found it yet. But I will. I will.’