When Geoffrey mentioned his dissatisfaction about his body at the dinner table, his father responded, “Not everything comes equally as easily to everyone.”

Geoffrey thought it was a fair observation and set his mind and body to adapting. He downed a mixture of three raw eggs, two mugs of milk, rolled oats and spoonfuls of peanut butter every morning and trained on the sports field alone before daylight. He worked out at the gym for two hours almost every day and joined the wrestling club to hone his scrumming skills. He declined his friends’ offers of cigarettes and beers when their parents weren’t around, and was in bed by nine-thirty every night to ensure he was up to training the next day. It was a routine he followed diligently for three years. At last, in his final year at school, Geoffrey was seconded from the B-team to the A-team for a major game.

“Geoffrey,” said the coach, as the boys lined up to run onto the field, “this is your reward for never giving up. Enjoy it!”

Less than ten minutes into the first half, the boy (or was he already a man?) playing lock for the opposition, tackled Geoffrey with such force that both the radius and ulna bones of his right arm broke. He never played rugby again.

There were other examples of his single-mindedness, including his determination to leave banking and start a gardening business. The decision almost cost him Michelle. She was appalled by the idea of him giving up a well-paid, prestigious job with a leading banking group for something as menial, poorly-paid and risky as starting yet another garden services company in the suburbs.

“I don’t know you anymore,” she’d wailed dramatically. “Three months ago you told me Xolani said you could be part of the executive committee within three years. Now you’re saying you want to drive bakkie loads of compost around for the rest of your life.”

“I don’t want to live my life indoors, staring at a computer and attending an endless series of meetings about money and people I will never meet.”

“It’s like you’re having a midlife crisis and you’re not even thirty. Why are you doing this to me?”

Michelle had tried to talk him out of the idea for more than a week and when she realised he wasn’t backing down, she stopped speaking to him and moved into the spare room. Then she disappeared for a few days and, when she returned to discover Geoffrey hadn’t changed his mind, she sobbed and threatened to leave him for good.

“God, Michelle! I hope you don’t. It would break my heart and it’s not what I want. But I won’t keep doing something I loathe to keep you happy because I’d end up hating us both.”