I looked out at the expanse of yard. “Do you even play tennis?” I asked.

Bear shook his head.

“What’s all this for?”

“I’ll tell you about it someday,” he said.

“Someday when?” I asked.

“When we’re not here.”

My eyes got wide. It jolted me all at once, like flying apart, arms and legs off, the notion that the world didn’t have to be unknown. That there was more than Spring Falls. That I would see other places, maybe live in them. With someone else.

“You don’t have to stay in Spring Falls,” Bear said.

I’d only ever been across the border to Canada, with my mother, to buy painkillers.

He noticed the way I pressed my lips together hard, the clench of my hand on the beer bottle, and laid his hand at the base of my neck.

“You okay?” he asked, tentative.

I couldn’t think of anything greater than the warmth and the weight of his hand, right then, on the back of my neck, touching my skin. The hair up the back of my head felt electric.

Inside, I stepped out of my shoes and went to where he stood by the fire. “The thing I told you, about”—my voice dropped—“about my sister. You can’t say anything about that.” He looked puzzled and waited.

My shoulders sank. “I can’t explain it,” I said. “It’s just—today has been such a long day.”

“Is she yours?” he asked me.

“What? No,” I said, and shook my head. “Oh my God, no.” I faced the fire, where one log burned fast in the middle, about to give way.

I heard Bear behind me, and without saying anything else, I felt his breath, his lips on the edge of my hair, on the back of my neck. He put his hands on my biceps, and my head got light and woozy, my sight went dim around the edges, and I jumped, hard, nearly off my feet, and Bear’s hands sprung off me.

I was afraid to turn around.

I was afraid it hadn’t happened.

“I don’t know if I get you,” Bear said then.

My heart was loud, hammering in my ears. I turned and tried to shrug. “What’s to get?” I said. My lips felt tight and my jaw hurt.

But Bear tilted his head and laughed at my attempt to be cool, to be unaffected. I had never seen anyone so comfortable in his own skin.

Please stop talking, I thought.

Bear let his hands drop down at his sides, his chest open, his palms turned out.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I said automatically.

“Nothing?” Bear said. His eyes lit up.

I got out from in front of him so the fire was no longer roaring up my back. “Nothing,” I said again. I started to stammer, my stomach knotted tight. “I told you,” I said. “I just need to work.” I fumbled in my pocket for the cash he’d given me. I was just going to give it back.