Thimmakka looks at him mulishly. What nonsense he is talking! Doesn’t he know? ‘Annaiah, I don’t want to marry him. I love you. You know this! I have been with you since I was a child. I want to be with you and no one else.’

Annaiah looks at her, stunned beyond thought. What is this child saying! He now sees her blazing eyes. He can see Putti, Chikthayi, Gangi. Thimmakka puts her arms around him eagerly. Annaiah fights it. No! Not this child. I am too old. What she feels is devotion, not burning desire! He pushes the girl away, hard. Thimmakka reels and falls to the ground, too shocked to register the pain.

‘Go away!’ he screams, self-preservation making the words harsher than he intends them to be. He spews insults that pierce the young girl’s heart like black poisoned arrows. Thimmakka’s world crashes around her. She sees a shuddering man, half-mad with rage, screaming at her. Where is that magical being to whom she has given her heart? Where is the man she starved herself for? Almost in a daze, she slowly gets up and turns … and freezes with shock to see Chenni standing there, looking at her and Annaiah.

13. Thimmakka’s Marriage

13

THIMMAKKA’S MARRIAGE

himmakka goes back to her room in a daze. Chenni says nothing, to her or to anyone else. The two marriages take place. All evening saraayi flows in the village as Puttaswamegowda celebrates the event with an open purse.

But Thimmakka’s marriage is over on her wedding night itself. She cannot bear the sight of Ramappa, the feel of him when he puts his arms around her. Ramappa reasons that perhaps Thimmakka is very young. He waits patiently.

The daze has lifted from Thimmakka’s mind, though. As she mulls over the events of that night before her wedding, Thimmakka concludes that Annaiah must have seen Chenni come there. So he pushed her away. Of course he doesn’t mean a word he said! He is her Siva. She yearns to go to him. She almost does too, particularly the day when the villagers tell her that Annaiah’s stories have become searingly sad and are almost drying up, like when Gangi died. But Annaiah will still send her away; she is now married to Ramappa. So she doesn’t go and mopes around the house, unable to think of a way out of this bind.

She also develops a fear that Chenni will reveal her secret and stops speaking to her. She stays away from the headman’s house and does not even go to see the new baby Sundru. She also makes sure that Ramappa, a simple man caught up in his love for her, does not speak to his sister.