‘If you think I’m getting into your grandfather’s car after he’s had that old tart sat in it, then you can bleedin’ well think again,’ Joyce replied stubbornly.

Hearing the cab toot up outside, Joyce knocked back the rest of her drink and checked her reflection in the hallway mirror. She knew she looked good, she’d made a special effort, and she could hardly wait to show that errant husband of hers exactly what he’d been missing. Smiling like the cat who had got the cream back again, Joyce picked up her handbag and slammed the front door.

Jed O’Hara got out of bed and quickly got dressed. He’d spent the night at Amanda’s flat and, after three dates, had finally got his end away with her. Amanda woke up and smiled lovingly at Jed. Unlike her friend, who had slept with Sammy on the night that she’d met him, Amanda had morals and she never slept with a lad unless the relationship was destined to be long term. Last night, Jed had repeatedly told her he loved her and had also said that he wanted her to meet his children and his parents. Knowing how serious Jed was about her, Amanda finally decided to drop her knickers, and now she was absolutely smitten with him.

‘What time are we taking your children out, Jed? What should I wear? I want to look nice if I’m meeting your mum and dad.’

Remembering the lies he’d spun to have his wicked way with her, Jed shrugged. He’d actually thought he’d liked her over the past week or so, but now he’d had sex with her, he’d kind of lost interest. Unfortunately for Amanda, she wasn’t very good at it.

‘I’ve been thinking, I feel it’s a bit early for you to meet me chavvies. The thing is, it ain’t that long since I split up with their muvver and I don’t wanna confuse ’em, do I?’

‘Well, can’t we still spend the day together like you promised?’ Amanda asked in a clingy tone.

‘I’d love to, babe, but I promised I’d take me chavvies out and I wouldn’t be much of a dad if I let ’em down, would I? I’ll give you a bell later, OK?’

Jed pecked Amanda on the cheek, walked out of her flat and immediately rang his cousin. ‘What’s occurring, Sammy boy?’

‘I’ve been waiting for you to bell me. Bored shitless I am, and Julie’s done my head in all fucking day. How’d it go with Randy Mandy?’