‘I want you to promise me that in the New Year you’ll let me have a word with my dad to see if he can help you with your trial. You shouldn’t be in here, Babs, and when I get out I want you to be out there with me. Who’s gonna be my best friend if you’re stuck in here for years, eh?’

Babs smiled at her friend. ‘The only promise I can give you is that I’ll think about what you’re saying, sweet child. Now, no more sad talk, let’s go party.’

Stanley Smith had had the best Christmas Day ever so far. It had been Pat’s idea to buy the pigeons’ Christmas presents and bring the birds indoors for the day. ‘Look at my Mildred, she’s gonna fall off the bloody thing if she swings any faster,’ Pat said, laughing.

Stanley chuckled. The pigeons loved their swings and his three were fighting over the same one. ‘No, Willie, that one’s yours,’ Stanley said, pointing to the empty swing.

As Pat approached him from behind and put her arms around his waist, Stanley flinched nervously. He adored everything about Pat, bar one thing. He loved her smile, her personality, her hearty chuckle, her adoration and knowledge of pigeons, but she was always trying to touch and kiss him, which made Stanley feel very awkward indeed.

‘I’m busting for a wee, love,’ he said, loosening her grip on him.

Once inside the lavatory, Stanley stood over the toilet and stared at his small, flaccid penis. He hadn’t had an erection for years and didn’t even know if he was capable of having them any more. He’d never been sex-mad, even as a young man, and the thought of having to poke his John Thomas in someone at his age filled him with dread. Shaking his little problem, Stanley zipped himself up, washed his hands and stared at himself in the mirror. He was divorcing Joycie, and if he was to have a happy future with Pat, then he had to try and give the woman what she wanted.

Terry Baldwin picked up the knife and began to carve the turkey. Originally, Anne’s sister and her husband were meant to be coming over for Christmas and staying a couple of days, but because of Sally’s recent behaviour, Anne had cancelled the arrangement.

‘My sister and her husband absolutely adore the festive time of year and it’s not fair on them or Sally if they come here. We are bound to have a morbid Christmas because of poor little Luke and we’d be better spending it alone,’ Anne insisted.