Ricky’s blue eyes looked like ice on a glacier. “I know you’re screwing him.”

“No, you don’t know that, because I’m not.”

“He says you are. He threw it in my face at the movie on Sunday.”

“Well, Ajax is a liar. He pushes your buttons, and you let him do it.”

“He comes on to you,” Ricky said. “I’ve seen him do it.”

“Yeah, he comes on to me and every other woman in town, but there’s nothing between us.”

I was tired of this argument. We’d had it over and over. I was done defending myself, but I still felt the need to be a peacemaker. On that day of all days, I needed a little bit of peace.

“Look, I’m sorry about the argument on Sunday,” I went on. “I’m stressed about money. I’ll talk to my dad. He’ll help us out.”

“It’s not my fault there are no jobs, Bec.”

“I know. And I know it sucks that I have to work on Christmas. I’ll make it up to you. But right now, I need to shower and get back.”

With that, I dragged my tired body up the stairs to the second floor.

In the bathroom, with a little morning light coming in through the window, I stood in front of the mirror and took off my clothes. I hung up my uniform carefully, as if it were a disguise. I unhooked my flimsy bra and peeled down my underwear, and I stared at my reflection in the gloom. Two dark eyes stared back at me, dark as coal, with thick eyebrows like two black slashes. Underneath them were the bags that makeup couldn’t hide. I hadn’t slept more than a few minutes in days. My nose was Rudolph-red from the freezing cold temperature and from sniffling and sneezing. My cheeks were flushed, and my entire head felt thick.

I had a V-shaped face and a tiny mouth, but my lower lip bulged in a way that made men think I was puckering at them. I wasn’t. My black hair hung to my shoulders. It was messy, with split ends and a few strands going their own way no matter how many times I brushed them down. I was skinny. I’ve always been skinny. You could see my shoulder bones, my narrow hips, my knobby knees. My arms were as scrawny as the chicken leg Ricky had been eating. My breasts made shallow pyramids that ended in tiny pink points. My skin was pale, my whole body china white. It wasn’t just the winter; even in the summer, I never tanned.

I may have seemed fragile on the outside, but this was tough country, and no matter if you were skinny and small, you did what you had to do. I shoveled snow. I cut down dead trees. I cuffed drunks twice my size.