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Back The Ursulina Save as PDF
Chapters (45)
  1. I know you'll never forgive me...
  2. Part One - Your Father
  3. Chapter One
  4. Chapter Two
  5. Chapter Three
  6. Chapter Four
  7. Chapter Five
  8. Chapter Six
  9. Chapter Seven
  10. Chapter Eight
  11. Chapter Nine
  12. Chapter Ten
  13. Chapter Eleven
  14. Chapter Twelve
  15. Chapter Thirteen
  16. Chapter Fourteen
  17. Chapter Fifteen
  18. Chapter Sixteen
  19. Chapter Seventeen
  20. Chapter Eighteen
  21. Chapter Nineteen
  22. Chapter Twenty
  23. Part Two - Your Mother
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. About the Author

The pain between my legs crashed toward shore like a tidal wave, and when it cascaded over me, I screamed. With my face beet red, I screamed. I lurched to my feet and screamed.

That’s the last thing I remember, Shelby. Everything else is black, until much later that night, when I was in the hospital and you were in my arms.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Six

Two weeks.

We had two weeks together, Shelby. The wonder of that time is emblazoned on my brain. When I’m lonely, when I’m bereft, when I’m crying, I go back to those days and replay the scenes of that movie. It’s like God gave me a consolation prize of perfect recall for the brief moments we had.

I spent three days in the hospital. Everyone visited. Darrell. His girls. Ben. Norm. Will. Sandra. They brought flowers, gifts, stuffed animals, and my favorite cherry-nut fudge. They marveled over you, and you didn’t cry at all when they held you. Nothing about this new world seemed to frighten you, which I loved. I hoped you would stay that way your whole life. Fearless.

The nurses told me you were the calmest baby they’d ever seen, angelic but so earnest. Life was serious business to you. You had this strangely intense curiosity about all the things you were seeing and experiencing for the first time. Including me. You seemed to know me from the beginning. We lay on the hospital bed, with you on my chest, and we stared at each other for hours. Me memorizing you, this tiny girl with dark hair like mine, this fragile being I’d created. And you trying to understand who this woman was, the mother who’d carried you, the person who would love you forever and do anything to keep you safe.

I treasured our time the way you treasure summer sunshine, with the knowledge that it doesn’t last. Yes, I could dream, plan, fantasize, and imagine all the landmarks we would share as you grew up. First steps. First words. School. Games. Books. Christmases and birthdays. But I’m not the kind of woman who can pretend to herself for very long. Deep down, I already knew the truth. You would experience those things without me.

On the fourth day, I brought you home.