I could see his headlights approaching on the dirt road through the dusting of snow. He got out of the car, and when he saw me, a huge grin broke across his face, and he exclaimed in relief, “Rebecca, thank God! I’ve been looking everywhere. Are you okay?”

He rushed toward me, but he stopped when he saw the revolver at my feet. His smile vanished.

“You’ll want to bag that,” I told him. “It’s evidence.”

His eyes took on a stricken look. His face turned ashen. Without saying a word, without picking up the gun, he ripped open the trailer door and ran inside, and a moment later, I heard his howl of despair. The entire Airstream shuddered as Darrell pounded his fists on the walls.

When he came back outside to confront me, tears were rolling down his cheeks. He shook his head over and over. “Rebecca, why?”

“You know why. He was going to kill me. He was going to kill Shelby. Nothing you did would ever keep him away from us.”

“I would have put him in jail.”

“For how long, Darrell? Six months? A year? Then he would have gotten out and come back.”

“Rebecca, I can’t hide this. This is murder. I can’t protect you from it.”

“I would never ask you to. I knew what I was doing. I made a plan and carried it out. I drugged my ex-husband and shot him in the head. I’m guilty. I accept the consequences.”

With another awful groan, Darrell fell to his knees in front of my chair. He reached out and hugged me tightly, and I hugged him back. I felt miserable, seeing his disappointment in me. This was my sin, my crime, but he felt responsible, like a father who’d failed his child. Somehow, he should have been able to save me. Keep me from harm.

I understood how he felt. I understood only too well.

He kept his hands on my shoulders, with his wretched face right in front of mine. I watched dread spread across his features, a horror of things unknown and unsaid. Then he asked me the question I knew was coming.

“Rebecca, where is Shelby?”

“She’s safe, Darrell,” I told him, my voice cracking, my heart breaking. “My baby is safe.”

“Where is she? I have to know where she is.”

“She was in danger. I needed to protect her.”

“How? How did you do that?”

“I took her away from here.”

“Where? You need to tell me where you took her.”

“To a place where no one can ever hurt her again.”

Darrell put his hands on both sides of my head. He leaned his forehead against mine. “Oh my God. Oh my God, Rebecca, please don’t say that. You can’t tell me that. Rebecca, what did you do?”

*

What did I do?