I was a virgin when they carried me inside. Soon I wasn’t a virgin or a girl or a woman or even a human being anymore. I became an animal, and I did what animals do. I survived. I distanced myself from the body on the bed. She was not me. She was weak, a victim. I dug a hole for my emotions, and I buried them and shoveled dirt over their grave. The only thing still alive inside me was my brain. The brain of Rebecca Colder, stronger and bolder.

Rebecca Colder, who would watch them, study them, learn from them, find their vulnerabilities. Rebecca Colder, who would figure out how to stay alive.

Racer was the weak link. I realized that quickly. Brink was intelligent, Kip was sly, but Racer was stupid. He drank and drank from the dozens of liquor bottles in the trailer. He smoked weed until the cloud made me choke. He had a hundred pounds on me, so I couldn’t overpower him, but he was impatient and careless. When he was the one who tied me up, he didn’t get the knots right. That didn’t matter if all of them were in the trailer to watch me, but if I had a time when Racer was alone with me, then I had a chance.

Thirty-six hours later, Kip and Brink got ready to leave. Brink was done with me, done with the game. I’d seen something on his face the last time he raped me that made me realize he’d begun to hate himself for what was happening. He wanted out. He wanted to erase me and this whole experience from his memory. Whenever Kip got back, that would be the end. If Rebecca Colder was going to get away, it would have to be while they were gone.

So in the darkness, after they left, it was just me and Racer.

He had his way with me again. I no longer even cared, because I knew that when he was done, he would drink. He always did. He drank and drank and drank and drank, and I waited for him to pass out. But the minutes ticked by in agonized frustration, and somehow he stayed conscious. I was terrified that Kip would return, and my opportunity would be gone for good. If Racer stayed awake much longer, I’d have to slip my wrists out of the loose rope and hope that he was clumsy enough that I could evade him. But the trailer was small, and he was huge. I didn’t like my chances.

Then, at last, his head tilted back, his eyes blinked shut, and he was out cold.