I dismounted my high horse. ‘Sure. If you go to pubs, never leave your drink unattended is the first thing,’ I said. ‘From the moment you watch the bartender pour it to the moment you finish it, always keep it in your view or, better still, keep it in your hand. I investigated a case in Melbourne where a woman had a tradesman come to her home to give her a quote. She made them both a coffee. He distracted her by pointing to a painting and asking a question about it. The next minute, she started to feel drowsy. It was as simple and as cunning as that. The man was a sex offender and he unlocked the door at the back of her house, then, when she tumbled into bed after he left, he came back.’

Several women shivered with horror.

‘Another tip is to be careful who you drink with at the pub. It’s easy to be swayed by a handsome face and a kind word.’

A woman in the back row raised her hand. ‘I feel like it’s too dangerous to go out now.’

I sighed. It was a common reaction; injustice replaced the butterflies in my stomach. ‘The irony is that even though there are predators out there, women have more chance of being harmed by the men they eat breakfast with than any stranger.’ I paused to let that sink in for a moment.

A couple of women looked down into their laps.

‘In Australia, more than one woman a week is murdered by her partner or ex-partner. But that only tells a fraction of the story. For every woman who dies, there are thousands of women who live in abusive relationships and are subject to verbal or physical violence on a regular basis.’

A buxom woman in the second row snorted rather loudly. I stopped and the women either side of her turned to look.

‘More fool them for staying,’ she sniffed. ‘I would never stay with a violent man.’

The comment set off a chain of murmurs among the audience. But not everyone joined in.

I often heard this kind of response and hastened to address it. ‘I think we all have to appreciate that violence in the home does not occur out of the blue. In my investigative experience, it begins with a systematic chipping away at the woman’s self-esteem. This is often followed by isolation; the man will argue with the woman’s friends and family, or be so unpleasant that they stop visiting. He may even insist the woman not work outside the home and, if she does, he controls the finances.’ As I spoke, I could see a lot of women nodding, understanding these patterns in the lives of people they knew, or perhaps acknowledging their own story.

‘I’d still leave,’ said the buxom woman.