And then it clicked. I wasn’t sure I believed it myself. But I knew it would rattle her, and I couldn’t stand more lecturing about any and all of my human faults, so I said it: ‘You know, the cop said … After the person smashed the picture, he said there weren’t any signs of breaking or entering.’

‘OK. So?’

‘You’re the only person with a house key.’

Olivia considered this, let the weight of the faux accusation settle over us. ‘You’re fucking unbelievable,’ she finally said. She never swore. ‘You’re, you’re a bitch. You have been so mean, and so selfish, and I have no idea why everyone thinks helping you is so important because you never want to help anyone else. I get it about your dad, and like, even if I don’t get it, I do, because I miss him too. And just because you’re having a bad time doesn’t mean everyone else isn’t. And I know that I’ll never know you well enough to help you, because you’re so deep, I guess.’

‘You didn’t even try to help me.’

‘Are you actually kidding me right now?’

‘No. You didn’t do shit. You came to the funeral, then gossiped about how fucked up I was, and then you linked me to some articles and that was it. And you didn’t believe me when I needed you to.’

‘I don’t believe you because I’m not insane!’

‘And then you throwing this on me, like, like some stupid test is so unfair. A friendship shouldn’t be determined by some fucking ultimatum.’

‘You know what? You’re right. This was never gonna work. You’ve obviously been checked out for months. This was pointless.’

‘Yeah. Maybe it was.’

Olivia took a step backwards. I wished she’d fall. ‘Yeah, OK, cool. Great. Have fun pining over some straight girl. That’ll end well. Oh, and looking for a murderer. Sweet. Cool. Enjoy.’

And then she turned on her heels and stormed away.

‘By the way, I lost the freaking house key. It’s for the best. I don’t want anything more to do with you, anyway.’

But I wasn’t listening any more. I shut the door too hard.

I wanted to scream.

I threw myself into my bed, scrunched a pillow round my face like I was trying to suffocate myself and absolutely wailed into it.

She doesn’t need you. She doesn’t need you.

Olivia was the sole messenger of everything I had feared was true and hearing it aloud made me feel like I was choking, falling, dying.

I imagined myself stealing away to open June’s folder in the middle of the night, but instead of answers, it was full of blood.

The day of the dance arrived without further incident.