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Contents (57)
  1. THE TRIMMED LAMP
  2. * * *
  3. O. HENRY
  4. *
  5. Contents
  6. *
  7. The Trimmed Lamp
  8. *
  9. A Madison Square Arabian Night
  10. *
  11. The Rubaiyat of a Scotch Highball
  12. *
  13. The Pendulum
  14. *
  15. Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen
  16. *
  17. The Assessor of Success
  18. *
  19. The Buyer from Cactus City
  20. *
  21. The Badge of Policeman O'Roon
  22. *
  23. Brickdust Row
  24. *
  25. The Making of a New Yorker
  26. *
  27. Vanity and Some Sables
  28. *
  29. The Social Triangle
  30. *
  31. The Purple Dress
  32. *
  33. The Foreign Policy of Company 99
  34. *
  35. The Lost Blend
  36. *
  37. A Harlem Tragedy
  38. *
  39. "The Guilty Party"
  40. *
  41. According to Their Lights
  42. *
  43. A Midsummer Knight's Dream
  44. *
  45. The Last Leaf
  46. *
  47. The Count and the Wedding Guest
  48. *
  49. The Country of Elusion
  50. *
  51. The Ferry of Unfulfilment
  52. *
  53. The Tale of a Tainted Tenner
  54. *
  55. Elsie in New York
  56. *
  57. * * *

Murray gazed at the officer with serene and virtuous dignity.

"I would be simply doing my duty as a citizen and gentleman," he said, severely, "if I could assist the law in laying hold of one of its offenders."

Murray hurried back to the bench in the park. He folded his arms and shrank within his clothes to his ghost-like presentment.

Ten minutes afterward the Captain arrived at the rendezvous, windy and thunderous as a dog-day in Kansas. His collar had been torn away; his straw hat had been twisted and battered; his shirt with ox-blood stripes split to the waist. And from head to knee he was drenched with some vile and ignoble greasy fluid that loudly proclaimed to the nose its component leaven of garlic and kitchen stuff.

"For Heaven's sake, Captain," sniffed Murray, "I doubt that I would have waited for you if I had suspected you were so desperate as to resort to swill barrels. I"—

"Cheese it," said the Captain, harshly. "I'm not hogging it yet. It's all on the outside. I went around on Essex and proposed marriage to that Catrina that's got the fruit shop there. Now, that business could be built up. She's a peach as far as a Dago could be. I thought I had that senoreena mashed sure last week. But look what she done to me! I guess I got too fresh. Well there's another scheme queered."

"You don't mean to say," said Murray, with infinite contempt, "that you would have married that woman to help yourself out of your disgraceful troubles!"

"Me?" said the Captain. "I'd marry the Empress of China for one bowl of chop suey. I'd commit murder for a plate of beef stew. I'd steal a wafer from a waif. I'd be a Mormon for a bowl of chowder."

"I think," said Murray, resting his head on his hands, "that I would play Judas for the price of one drink of whiskey. For thirty pieces of silver I would"—

"Oh, come now!" exclaimed the Captain in dismay. "You wouldn't do that, Murray! I always thought that Kike's squeal on his boss was about the lowest-down play that ever happened. A man that gives his friend away is worse than a pirate."

Through the park stepped a large man scanning the benches where the electric light fell.

"Is that you, Mac?" he said, halting before the derelicts. His diamond stickpin dazzled. His diamond-studded fob chain assisted. He was big and smooth and well fed. "Yes, I see it's you," he continued. "They told me at Mike's that I might find you over here. Let me see you a few minutes, Mac."

The Captain lifted himself with a grunt of alacrity. If Charlie Finnegan had come down in the bottomless pit to seek him there must be something doing. Charlie guided him by an arm into a patch of shadow.

"You know, Mac," he said, "they're trying Inspector Pickering on graft charges."

"He was my inspector," said the Captain.