Contents (57)
- THE TRIMMED LAMP
- * * *
- O. HENRY
- *
- Contents
- *
- The Trimmed Lamp
- *
- A Madison Square Arabian Night
- *
- The Rubaiyat of a Scotch Highball
- *
- The Pendulum
- *
- Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen
- *
- The Assessor of Success
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- The Buyer from Cactus City
- *
- The Badge of Policeman O'Roon
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- Brickdust Row
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- The Making of a New Yorker
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- Vanity and Some Sables
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- The Social Triangle
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- The Purple Dress
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- The Foreign Policy of Company 99
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- The Lost Blend
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- A Harlem Tragedy
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- "The Guilty Party"
- *
- According to Their Lights
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- A Midsummer Knight's Dream
- *
- The Last Leaf
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- The Count and the Wedding Guest
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- The Country of Elusion
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- The Ferry of Unfulfilment
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- The Tale of a Tainted Tenner
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- Elsie in New York
- *
- * * *
Murray gazed at the officer with serene and virtuous dignity.
"I would be simply doing my duty as a citizen and gentleman," he said, severely, "if I could assist the law in laying hold of one of its offenders."
Murray hurried back to the bench in the park. He folded his arms and shrank within his clothes to his ghost-like presentment.
Ten minutes afterward the Captain arrived at the rendezvous, windy and thunderous as a dog-day in Kansas. His collar had been torn away; his straw hat had been twisted and battered; his shirt with ox-blood stripes split to the waist. And from head to knee he was drenched with some vile and ignoble greasy fluid that loudly proclaimed to the nose its component leaven of garlic and kitchen stuff.
"For Heaven's sake, Captain," sniffed Murray, "I doubt that I would have waited for you if I had suspected you were so desperate as to resort to swill barrels. I"—
"Cheese it," said the Captain, harshly. "I'm not hogging it yet. It's all on the outside. I went around on Essex and proposed marriage to that Catrina that's got the fruit shop there. Now, that business could be built up. She's a peach as far as a Dago could be. I thought I had that senoreena mashed sure last week. But look what she done to me! I guess I got too fresh. Well there's another scheme queered."
"You don't mean to say," said Murray, with infinite contempt, "that you would have married that woman to help yourself out of your disgraceful troubles!"
"Me?" said the Captain. "I'd marry the Empress of China for one bowl of chop suey. I'd commit murder for a plate of beef stew. I'd steal a wafer from a waif. I'd be a Mormon for a bowl of chowder."
"I think," said Murray, resting his head on his hands, "that I would play Judas for the price of one drink of whiskey. For thirty pieces of silver I would"—
"Oh, come now!" exclaimed the Captain in dismay. "You wouldn't do that, Murray! I always thought that Kike's squeal on his boss was about the lowest-down play that ever happened. A man that gives his friend away is worse than a pirate."
Through the park stepped a large man scanning the benches where the electric light fell.
"Is that you, Mac?" he said, halting before the derelicts. His diamond stickpin dazzled. His diamond-studded fob chain assisted. He was big and smooth and well fed. "Yes, I see it's you," he continued. "They told me at Mike's that I might find you over here. Let me see you a few minutes, Mac."
The Captain lifted himself with a grunt of alacrity. If Charlie Finnegan had come down in the bottomless pit to seek him there must be something doing. Charlie guided him by an arm into a patch of shadow.
"You know, Mac," he said, "they're trying Inspector Pickering on graft charges."
"He was my inspector," said the Captain.