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Contents (57)
  1. THE TRIMMED LAMP
  2. * * *
  3. O. HENRY
  4. *
  5. Contents
  6. *
  7. The Trimmed Lamp
  8. *
  9. A Madison Square Arabian Night
  10. *
  11. The Rubaiyat of a Scotch Highball
  12. *
  13. The Pendulum
  14. *
  15. Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen
  16. *
  17. The Assessor of Success
  18. *
  19. The Buyer from Cactus City
  20. *
  21. The Badge of Policeman O'Roon
  22. *
  23. Brickdust Row
  24. *
  25. The Making of a New Yorker
  26. *
  27. Vanity and Some Sables
  28. *
  29. The Social Triangle
  30. *
  31. The Purple Dress
  32. *
  33. The Foreign Policy of Company 99
  34. *
  35. The Lost Blend
  36. *
  37. A Harlem Tragedy
  38. *
  39. "The Guilty Party"
  40. *
  41. According to Their Lights
  42. *
  43. A Midsummer Knight's Dream
  44. *
  45. The Last Leaf
  46. *
  47. The Count and the Wedding Guest
  48. *
  49. The Country of Elusion
  50. *
  51. The Ferry of Unfulfilment
  52. *
  53. The Tale of a Tainted Tenner
  54. *
  55. Elsie in New York
  56. *
  57. * * *

One afternoon the big drab automobile of the Deputy Fire Commissioner buzzed up to the door of No. 99 and the Deputy stepped inside for an informal inspection. The men kicked Svangvsk out a little harder than usual and proudly escorted the Deputy around 99, in which everything shone like my lady's mirror.

The Deputy respected the sorrow of the company concerning the loss of Erebus, and he had come to promise it another mate for Joe that would do him credit. So they let Joe out of his stall and showed the Deputy how deserving he was of the finest mate that could be in horsedom.

While they were circling around Joe confabbing, Chris climbed into the Deputy's auto and threw the power full on. The men heard a monster puffing and a shriek from the lad, and sprang out too late. The big auto shot away, luckily taking a straight course down the street. The boy knew nothing of its machinery; he sat clutching the cushions and howling. With the power on nothing could have stopped that auto except a brick house, and there was nothing for Chris to gain by such a stoppage.

Demetre Svangvsk was just coming in again with a grin for another kick when Chris played his merry little prank. While the others sprang for the door Demetre sprang for Joe. He glided upon the horse's bare back like a snake and shouted something at him like the crack of a dozen whips. One of the firemen afterward swore that Joe answered him back in the same language. Ten seconds after the auto started the big horse was eating up the asphalt behind it like a strip of macaroni.

Some people two blocks and a half away saw the rescue. They said that the auto was nothing but a drab noise with a black speck in the middle of it for Chris, when a big bay horse with a lizard lying on its back cantered up alongside of it, and the lizard reached over and picked the black speck out of the noise.

Only fifteen minutes after Svangvsk's last kicking at the hands—or rather the feet—of Engine Company No. 99 he rode Joe back through the door with the boy safe, but acutely conscious of the licking he was going to receive.

Svangvsk slipped to the floor, leaned his head against Joe's and made a noise like a clucking hen. Joe nodded and whistled loudly through his nostrils, putting to shame the knowledge of Sloviski, of the delicatessen.

John Byrnes walked up to Svangvsk, who grinned, expecting to be kicked. Byrnes gripped the outlander so strongly by the hand that Demetre grinned anyhow, conceiving it to be a new form of punishment.

"The heathen rides like a Cossack," remarked a fireman who had seen a Wild West show—"they're the greatest riders in the world."

The word seemed to electrify Svangvsk. He grinned wider than ever.

"Yas—yas—me Cossack," he spluttered, striking his chest.

"Cossack!" repeated John Byrnes, thoughtfully, "ain't that a kind of a Russian?"