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Contents ( 57)
  1. THE TRIMMED LAMP
  2. * * *
  3. O. HENRY
  4. *
  5. Contents
  6. *
  7. The Trimmed Lamp
  8. *
  9. A Madison Square Arabian Night
  10. *
  11. The Rubaiyat of a Scotch Highball
  12. *
  13. The Pendulum
  14. *
  15. Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen
  16. *
  17. The Assessor of Success
  18. *
  19. The Buyer from Cactus City
  20. *
  21. The Badge of Policeman O'Roon
  22. *
  23. Brickdust Row
  24. *
  25. The Making of a New Yorker
  26. *
  27. Vanity and Some Sables
  28. *
  29. The Social Triangle
  30. *
  31. The Purple Dress
  32. *
  33. The Foreign Policy of Company 99
  34. *
  35. The Lost Blend
  36. *
  37. A Harlem Tragedy
  38. *
  39. "The Guilty Party"
  40. *
  41. According to Their Lights
  42. *
  43. A Midsummer Knight's Dream
  44. *
  45. The Last Leaf
  46. *
  47. The Count and the Wedding Guest
  48. *
  49. The Country of Elusion
  50. *
  51. The Ferry of Unfulfilment
  52. *
  53. The Tale of a Tainted Tenner
  54. *
  55. Elsie in New York
  56. *
  57. * * *

The members of this unchartered but widely known brotherhood appeared to pass their time on street corners arrayed like the lilies of the conservatory and busy with nail files and penknives. Thus displayed as a guarantee of good faith, they carried on an innocuous conversation in a 200-word vocabulary, to the casual observer as innocent and immaterial as that heard in clubs seven blocks to the east.

But off exhibition the "Stovepipes" were not mere street corner ornaments addicted to posing and manicuring. Their serious occupation was the separating of citizens from their coin and valuables. Preferably this was done by weird and singular tricks without noise or bloodshed; but whenever the citizen honored by their attentions refused to impoverish himself gracefully his objections came to be spread finally upon some police station blotter or hospital register.

The police held the "Stovepipe" gang in perpetual suspicion and respect. As the nightingale's liquid note is heard in the deepest shadows, so along the "Stovepipe's" dark and narrow confines the whistle for reserves punctures the dull ear of night. Whenever there was smoke in the "stovepipe" the tasselled men in blue knew there was fire in "Hell's Kitchen."

"Kid" Brady promised Molly to be good. "Kid" was the vainest, the strongest, the wariest and the most successful plotter in the gang. Therefore, the boys were sorry to give him up.

But they witnessed his fall to a virtuous life without protest. For, in the Kitchen it is considered neither unmanly nor improper for a guy to do as his girl advises.

Black her eye for love's sake, if you will; but it is all-to-the-good business to do a thing when she wants you to do it.

"Turn off the hydrant," said the Kid, one night when Molly, tearful, besought him to amend his ways. "I'm going to cut out the gang. You for mine, and the simple life on the side. I'll tell you, Moll—I'll get work; and in a year we'll get married. I'll do it for you. We'll get a flat and a flute, and a sewing machine and a rubber plant and live as honest as we can."

"Oh, Kid," sighed Molly, wiping the powder off his shoulder with her handkerchief, "I'd rather hear you say that than to own all of New York. And we can be happy on so little!"

The Kid looked down at his speckless cuffs and shining patent leathers with a suspicion of melancholy.

"It'll hurt hardest in the rags department," said he. "I've kind of always liked to rig out swell when I could. You know how I hate cheap things, Moll. This suit set me back sixty-five. Anything in the wearing apparel line has got to be just so, or it's to the misfit parlors for it, for mine. If I work I won't have so much coin to hand over to the little man with the big shears."

"Never mind, Kid. I'll like you just as much in a blue jumper as I would in a red automobile."