She didn’t. She just stood there, staring at me with tears glistening in her eyes.

I turned away from her. Deep, labored breathing came out of me. My hands shook at my sides. The pain in my heart only soared high, it physically hurt.

I knew it. I knew she was going to hate me. After knowing what a monster I was, she could never love me the way she did. She could never stay with a murderer. A murderer who killed his own father.

I clutched my chest, trying not to fall apart or destroy something. This fear, this fear of losing her didn’t let me sleep for years. Once I let her go because I didn’t deserve her time and love. I let go of her not only because I was a drug addict and I didn’t think I had a future, but also because I knew my past wouldn’t let me live freely so easily. It’d follow me everywhere I go. A monster like me didn’t deserve a flower like her.

But I was too selfish to stay away for long. Her absence in my life was ruining me. The thought of those turquoise eyes not looking at me with full of love and adoration, not hearing my name from her sweet angelic voice, not watching her blushing because of me, and not hearing her giggles drove me insane. It still did.

That was why I didn’t want to tell her. I decided to keep my past miles away from her so it never could be a hindrance in my path of keeping her in my life.

But… but she deserved the truth. She deserved to know everything about me before I bound her to me for the rest of our lives. I couldn’t keep her in the dark.

She promised to never let go…But who could love a murderer?

“I…” I gulped, rubbing my chest to soothe the burn. “I know you must hate me now. I know I don’t deserve you. You deserve a simple—” I took a deep breath, to even think of her being with another man made my blood boil, “—man. A simple man with a simple life. Not a man with a tainted past. Not a man who killed his father and was a drug addict. But…I love you, Rosebud.” I clenched my fists, trying my best not to pull her into the cage of my arms and lock her there forever. So she couldn’t leave me.

I wouldn’t survive without her.

“I’m too selfish to let you go. I can’t function without you. I can’t…”

A pair of petite arms wrapped around my torso from behind. I felt her pressing her cheek against my back.

“I’ll not leave even if you want me to. I can never,” she said.