He held my gaze. Different emotions swirled into those stormy gray pools. “I couldn’t let my darkness taint you, Rosebud. I’d never.”

“You could at least tell me. I’d be there with you. Maybe I could help you out.” A lone tear escaped my eye.

A soft smile tugged at his lips. “You were helping me, Rosebud. You were the only hope in my life that didn’t let my darkness engulf me completely. You were the only one who kept me sane.”

My lower lip trembled. No matter what he said, I couldn’t help but feel the guilt clutching me in its grip. Here I was fantasizing about him, not knowing what problems he was going through.

“Then what happened? H-how did you get out of your addiction?”

“I couldn’t for two years. Until…”

“Until?”

“Until I lost you.” Taking a deep breath, he cleared his throat. “I knew about your feelings for me, Rosebud. I knew everything. You were my princess even before you asked me to make you one. But…” His features hardened. “No matter how much I wanted you, I couldn’t let you wait for me and ruin your life when I didn’t even know if I had a future or not. What I’d do with my life.”

Something churned inside me. An ominous feeling rose in my chest.

“That’s why that night I took Tess’s help. To…”

My heart pounded down my chest, breath came out harsh, eyes burning. My nails dug into my palms.

“To push you away from me.”

THIRTY-SEVEN: HEARTBROKEN

Taking a sip of the tea, I ran my eyes over the newspaper. The noise of Mom chopping vegetables and moving utensils in the kitchen rang across. But nothing moved my attention from the paper, not even her curious glances.

“You know the Blackwood’s daughter ran off with her cousin’s fiancé?” Her sigh resonated from the opposite side of the counter. “I got to know from the kitty party last night. Children these days, I don’t know what runs in their head.”

I flipped another page.

“Your aunt called me this morning to inform me how she’s enjoying her vacation in Switzerland with her third husband and soon will be sending me some pictures of their little honeymoon.” She snorted. “As if I wanted to know, anyway. I’m glad your dad didn’t go after his elder sister. Thank God she’s not in the country right now. At least I got some relief from her frequent visits.”

I stayed quiet. Not warning her about Dad’s hearing her slandering about his sister to me, just like I did every time.

“Em?”

“Yeah,” I answered, my voice came out croaky.

“You need some more tea?”

I shook my head, not looking at her.

“Are you okay, honey?” she asked, hesitating.