After Scotty left, I took more speed to stave off the hollow, crashing wave of chemical sadness, and then I got cranky and restless. I ran laps around his bed.

Why don’t you go for a walk? he suggested. You seem pretty hyper.

I might get caught.

You won’t get caught, he insisted.

I’ve got a guy named Dirk Wallace who wants to bust up my face!

Sara, you’re paranoid. Get out of here for a while.

He ran his hands over the wheels of his skateboard. Here we go, I thought, I had a real knack for driving people away.

Where am I supposed to go?

Don’t go downtown. Just go home and see if that Sylvia chick is still around.

Should I come back?

Of course, he said, tousling my hair. I can’t sleep without my runaway.

Truthfully, I was glad to be out of his apartment. Outside, there was a rough wind and the sky was dusky and violet. I wandered around the lanes behind the broken homes, kicking the gravel and hoping for a storm. I knew where I wanted to go, and it was useless to fight the lure.

By the time I reached the door of the Blue House, I was breathless. I’d never been so excited in my entire life. My heart was beating so quick and loud, I felt it might slam straight through my skin. I had entered so many places in the last week, slept in four strange beds, and with every intrusion—into Ming’s, into the alley, into the diner, into the King’s, into Ledger, into White Oaks, into a skater’s bed—I’d grown bolder and braver. A year might have gone by. A year since I sat in the bushes, mute and useless. Nervous and silent when I was at Ming’s, now I was rowdy and hectic and sure. Sure this would be the best place I’d ever found. Sure, I was sure.

I knocked on the door.

Who’s there? a woman said. She sounded leery and suspicious, and behind her I heard a brash, mocking laugh. Did they have a peephole? Could they see me, standing there in my nurse’s uniform? What was I doing?

All his warnings came back to me. Him and Scotty had told me about the Blue House, their stupid, far-fetched tall tales. Sacrificial virgins, white slavery, black leather whips and chains.

It must have been the comedown from speed because all my excitement suddenly turned to white-hot fear. I would go inside and be destroyed. The wolf dressed up like a grandmother. My, what pretty eyes you have.