JARED: If Mia wasn’t so damn good for you, I’d spend the next bit talking about how a pint-sized woman has you whipped.

COLBY (another handful of Dots)

The room is thick with tension. I’m throwing out these questions and running the hell out of here.

JB: Alrighty. Well, I have a list of questions. Some you’ll hate, but please, please (leaning in for emphasis) please remember I DID NOT WRITE THEM. I’m only the messenger. So no hits need to be marked or whatever you call it. Cool?

(Silence)

JB: Right. (Cristin if they kill me, I will be so pissed at you) Colby, what up with the DOTS, dude?

COLBY: I have a sweet tooth. And they’re fun to eat by the handful.

JB: But you eat them when you’re stressed?

COLBY: I eat them on the job because they’re easy.

JB: Hmmm… (tapping my pen) They’re really not. M&M’s are easy. DOTS? Those take work. Besides, I’m pretty sure there was a scene or two when you and Mia were at odds and you went scrounging through Dots boxes like a crack head searching for a fix.

COLBY (eyes narrowed): I don’t get stressed.

CASH: Dude. Chill out, buddy. The ladies out there are curious, wondering if you’re going to let yourself go now that your married with a bun in the oven and all.

JB: Well, you know, I was promised this was a shirtless interview. Just saying.

CASH (tosses his cowboy hat off, tugging his shirt up): Anything you want, girl. But fair is fair. This comes off, so does your—

JB: Yes, please. (Oh, dammit. I said that out loud.)

JARED: Cash, shut the hell up.

JB: Nice abs, and a great segue into my next question. (jotting down that Cash’s abs are INSANE, then flipping a yellow page of my legal pad) You’re a bit of a womanizer, aren’t you, Cash?

CASH: I enjoy my time with the ladies.

JB: Anyone in particular? (No way a guy like this doesn’t have a girlfriend)

CASH: Nope. Never. Not my style.

JB: (Huh, he answered that a little too quickly.) Never?

CASH (a flicker of something sad crosses his face, but he grabs his cowboy hat): What’s the point? Love a woman today, she might be gone tomorrow. I’m in it for the fun. And I haven’t heard any complaints.

COLBY (Laughs, shaking head):

I’m not buying it. There’s a story there, but to avoid pissing the expert sniper off, I’ll leave that story for Cristin to tell.

CASH: Like you were Mister Innocent before Mia came around. Did you ever say no to some sexed up, no commitment fun? Nope. Didn’t think so.

JB: Jared, you’re awfully quiet about all this relationship stuff. Anything you want to share?’