Chapters (116)
Mike threw a comforter over him, pulled the shades, and began to clean the apartment. Cleaning made Mike feel better, gave him a sense of progress, or change, at least. Lyle was getting some sleep and the dishes were getting done. It might have been a bad couple nights, bad dreams, but when Lyle woke up they would march on. If this is it, thought Mike as he scrubbed dishes, then I can handle it. Mike thought he would go grocery shopping, too, and fill the refrigerator with good food. Mozzarella and olives and roast chicken from that gourmet delicatessen on the corner. There’s no reason, he thought, to live so badly.
But as he cleaned the living room and kitchen, it seemed to Mike that something was different. Something was missing, maybe. He couldn’t tell what. Putting the books back on their shelves he realized what it was. The paintings were down; the strange animal portraits, the bear and the dogs and the monkey smoking a cigarette were gone from the walls. Odd, Mike thought. And why hadn’t he noticed? He wondered what Lyle had done with them but then found them in the bathroom where they were submerged facedown in a full bathtub. He pulled them out, one by one, leaning them against the wall to dry. He knew that Lyle had tried to mute their voices by drowning them.
When the apartment was clean, Mike sat and watched his brother sleep. He lit a cigarette and thought about how much better Lyle looked asleep, even as fat as he was, how much he resembled his old self. Mike also saw that his brother was developing his first wrinkles, the first subtle creases of age. Good, thought Mike, at that moment. We’ll both be adults and this will all get easier.
When Lyle finally opened his eyes, Mike asked how he felt. Lyle said he felt great.
Mike hears the woman’s dog barking behind him as he passes the bus stop. The dog is loud and shrill and, Mike thinks, not reassured.
69
Finally, Mike is in Midtown. No cabs. At Fifty-ninth Street he turns east off Columbus Circle toward Central Park South. An enormous skyscraper is under construction and it casts a shadow on the traffic. Looking down Eighth Avenue, Mike can see more smoke rising.
When he is on Central Park South, Mike can’t see the smoke anymore. The avenue is desolate and seems new and strange to him. This is where Jane lives with her parents, where she grew up, playing on the carpet and peering out over the carved paneling, through the giant windows onto the green bloom of Central Park. The apartment is beautiful and detailed, filled with art and light. Mike has a key and is always welcome. Part of the family, Jane’s mother told him in tears, following the death of his parents.