Hours pass and I’m unable to move. I’ve fixated on my discarded shoe from last night that sits on its side a few feet in front of me. If I look at the shoe and focus on it, I won’t have to think about how I can still feel Levi’s finger inside me.

My eyes burn from being dried out. I cried all my tears earlier. Now all that’s left are the hiccups and ragged breathing.

I have to leave this place. I can’t stay here any longer because of my love for my mother when my own safety and happiness are at stake. I’m tired of living this way.

In a perfect world, Callum would have saved me from all this. I’d call him and tell him everything that happened. He would make me pack my things and move me into his home—into his bed.

But I live in an imperfect world.

My boyfriend was more of a passing moment than an actual relationship. It almost feels like a dream. A fantasy made real in my mind, but not reality.

Voices can be heard somewhere within the house. It doesn’t take long for them to become shouts. One of them is female. A door slams.

“Willa?”

Mom’s voice is soft and motherly like I remember. A strangled sound crawls up my throat. I want my mom. I need her.

“Oh my God,” she cries out as she pads over to me and kneels. Her fingers slide into my matted hair. “My poor baby girl.”

At her words, the dam breaks again. I start to sob as my mother lies down on the floor beside me, curling her body around mine. She strokes my hair and kisses my head, murmuring quiet reassurances I desperately want to believe.

This will never happen again.

I’ll protect you from that monster.

I’m going to get you away from this mess.

I let my mother kiss away my worries and hold me tight. When we’ve both calmed, she leaves me to start a bath. And, like when I was a child, Mom helps me undress and bathes me while singing songs I’d long forgotten.

I needed my mom and now I finally have her.

For how long?

The bitterness rears its ugly head as I sit on the toilet, wrapped in a towel, while Mom brushes out my tangles. She’s been clouded by her pills for so long, I’m not sure I can fully believe she’ll make good on her promises to keep me safe.

What choice do I have, though?

I don’t have anywhere to go. No job or money. No friends. No boyfriend. Just Mom. I have to trust she’ll keep her word to fix this mess.

“I love you so much, baby girl,” she whispers as she leads me back to my bed. “Just rest.”