The lie sounds good in my head, even though every cell in my body begs me to turn around.

I don’t.

I drive and drive and drive until I’m numb.

Numb feels a lot better than soul-crushing pain.

Numb is the new me.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Willa

Throb. Throb. Throb.

The pounding inside my head is nauseating. Whoever thought drinking was a good idea must have been a sadist. It’s miserable. I’m miserable.

If only it were just the alcohol to blame.

The alcohol is more like the icing on top of a shit cake.

Last night was supposed to be fun. Turns out, it was nothing but a giant nightmare. Somehow, while being with my new friends, I managed to lose my boyfriend in the process.

Sun gleams in through the window, attempting to cheer me up, but it’s a lost cause. I’m far from happy today.

My stomach roils violently. If I don’t put food in my body soon, I’m going to spend the rest of my Saturday hugging the toilet.

Somehow, I find just enough energy to crawl out of bed. As much as I’m dying to text Callum, I avoid my phone and stagger to the bathroom. My room tilts and spins. Saliva fills my mouth. I clutch onto the doorframe of the bathroom, clenching my eyes closed so I don’t puke my guts out. Once the wave of nausea has passed, I’m able to pee and brush my teeth, all of which while avoiding my reflection. Eventually, I chance a peek.

I look like death warmed over.

Dark hair is ratty and puffed up on one side. Black smudges remain under my eyes even though I managed to wash my makeup off before falling into bed last night. My eyes are red and swollen from crying. I’m a mess.

Tears burn my eyes, but I quickly blink them back. If I start crying, I’ll never leave my room, and if I don’t eat something soon, I’ll never leave the toilet. With a sharp inhalation, I stagger out of the bathroom to my bedroom door where the nightstand blocks the door. It takes more energy than I possess to move it aside, but I finally get it moved.

Now I somehow need to make it to the kitchen and back without any run-ins with my family. The house is quiet, so I’m hoping everyone is still asleep. I turn the knob and slowly open the door, wincing when the creaking sound echoes down the hall. Before I exit, I pause to listen. Nothing. Good.

I creep my way into the kitchen, doing my best to keep silent. When I see Darren sitting at the kitchen table, I nearly crawl out of my skin. His gaze lifts from his phone and he spots me right away. No retreating now.