I have to give it to Sam—he was great about it. He used to get up with me, and the two of us would sit in the kitchen together, talking and drinking warm milk. That’s how I knew he’d be a great dad to a newborn. He didn’t mind getting up in the middle of the night to make me milk. And somehow, that made it even worse. Because I wanted a child not just for me, but also for him.

“I screwed up a meeting today at work,” I say, as I perch down at the edge of the bed. “A really important meeting. I put up the wrong images. It was a disaster.”

“Oh.” Sam rubs his eyes again. “So… what? Are you unemployed now?”

“No.”

“Then you’ll make it right again. You always do.”

“What if I don’t?”

He shrugs. “Well, we’re going to have a baby soon. You can stay home if you want.”

“You know I don’t want to do that! I’ve worked really hard to get where I am!” I put my hands on my hips. “Anyway, you don’t earn enough money on your own. We’d have to start going through my savings.”

“I earn enough for us to get by.”

“Not really.”

He gives me a look. Sam rarely seems resentful of the fact that I earn twice as much as he does or that we had to use my trust fund to put down money on our condo. But sometimes I get the feeling it bothers him more than he lets on.

In any case, this isn’t making me feel any better. I pace across our small bedroom, my heart pounding in my chest. Why can’t I shut down my thoughts? What’s wrong with me?

“Don’t you have those sleeping pills?” Sam says. “From when you were having trouble sleeping before?”

“Maybe…” I think they’re still in the medicine cabinet. “But they’re four years old. They’ve probably expired.”

He yawns. “Maybe tomorrow you should call your doctor to get another prescription.”

“I don’t want to rely on pills to sleep.”

“Yeah, you just want to spend the night pacing the apartment.”

He has a point. “Okay, I’ll call my doctor tomorrow.”

Sam rubs his eyes again. He looks so sexy right now, his dark hair disheveled, the stubble on his chin—also, he sleeps shirtless. So there’s that.

I can think of one thing that might relax me…

“Hey.” I climb back onto the bed, but this time onto Sam’s side. “You feel like fooling around…?”

“Uh…”

I frown at him. Is the answer not yes?

He looks a little uncomfortable. “I mean, yes, of course I do. But… well, I’ve got an eight a.m. lecture tomorrow and…”