“No one has everything ‘sorted’, Martha, whatever that means. I’m a coward.” There, she’d said it. “After my encounter with a scoundrel I made sure I protected myself from pain. It’s a human response of course.”

Maybe age didn’t give you wisdom, but it gave you the benefit of hindsight.

She couldn’t change how her life had played out. She couldn’t undo the decisions she’d made. But she could do her best to make sure Martha didn’t go down the same road.

“I may not have been afraid of living, but I was afraid of loving.” Given that she’d never spoken the words before, they were remarkably easy to say. “I’d hate to see you make the same mistake.”

10

LIZA

Liza woke to the sound of birdsong and the smell of fresh linen. Cool air drifted through the open window, bringing with it the scent of sea salt and honeysuckle. Her head was nestled deep in the softest pillow and for a few blissful seconds she basked in extreme comfort, and then life intruded.

She was in Oakwood Cottage.

She’d driven the whole way without stopping, with the music of her choice blaring through her speakers. She’d arrived in the dark and collapsed on top of the bed fully clothed, too drained by the whole emotional experience to do more than remove her shoes.

Despite everything, she’d fallen asleep easily and slept deeply, which at least meant she was rested for the moment of reckoning.

She sat up, braced to experience a pounding of difficult emotions.

What had she done?

She’d left her family. No, not left them. That sounded permanent, and this wasn’t permanent. But whichever way she framed it, family was everything to her and right now she should be feeling terrible. It came as a shock to discover that she wasn’t.

Last night’s feeling of panic had faded, but the hurt and loneliness was still there.

She wasn’t even sure why she’d walked out the way she had. It had been a culmination of emotional pressure that had built over the day until she’d thought she might burst. From Sean forgetting their anniversary to Caitlin demanding that she bring the cup to school in her lunch break, the whole day had been a stark reminder of all the things that were making her unhappy in her life.

She hadn’t left to make a point. She’d left because it had been necessary for her sanity.

She needed space and thinking time. Her brain wasn’t given sufficient respite from stress to figure out what she really wanted.

Still, it felt unnatural being here on her own.