She tried to push thoughts of Ruth to the back of her mind, but her old friend hovered like a dark cloud on an otherwise bright day, her presence threatening change.

She could ignore those letters, Kathleen reminded herself. She didn’t have to read them.

But then Liza might read them.

Oh if only she knew what they said, she would know whether she needed to read them or not.

The ridiculousness of that thought made her laugh.

“What’s funny?” Martha glanced up from the menu with a smile.

“Nothing.”

Martha ordered ice cream, and Josh did the same. “What was Brian’s favorite food, Kathleen?” Martha handed the menu back. “Are you a good cook?”

“I’m an appalling cook. Brian wasn’t overflowing with talent in that area either. Liza was always the one who showed a skill in the kitchen. She still does. She treats food like art. Everything she puts on the plate looks pretty.” Had she ever praised her daughter for her cooking skills? That day she’d sped down to the West Country after Kathleen’s accident bearing a casserole, had Kathleen even thanked her? She had an uncomfortable feeling that she might have said something impatient.

Liza had probably thought her rude and ungrateful. It was only now with some distance that she could understand the reason for her less than admirable behavior. She’d been terrified. Terrified that they might persuade her to sell her home and move into residential accommodation. Terrified that it might, in fact, be the best decision for her.

The house had been the best gift Brian had ever given her, apart from love.

When she’d finally accepted his proposal, he’d taken her on a car ride to Oakwood and pulled into the curving drive.

I’ve found a house with nothing between you and the sea.

The fact that he’d understood her deep need for independence and freedom had cemented her decision to marry him.

She hated the idea of staying in one place, but then she’d fallen in love with her cottage by the ocean. It made her feel that she was on the edge of a journey. That she could sail away at a moment’s notice.

Why had she not said that? Why had she not said, Liza, I’m afraid.

Because she handled life by not letting it get too close.

In their last phone conversation Liza had said I love you, and what had she said in return? Not I love you too, even though she did love her daughter very much. She’d said I know you do.

It was evidence of Liza’s great love for her that she hadn’t given up on her mother.

Kathleen’s heart ached.

She should do better. She would do better.

She watched as Martha dipped her spoon into Josh’s chocolate ice cream and he tried her strawberry.