I sat beside her and laid my hand on her shoulder. She leaned into it, the tension in her body melting. “My life changed too, you know,” she said. “When we lost the crows. I had to learn to be queen, to take care of the kingdom and of you. I forgot to be your sister.”

“I didn’t exactly make it easy.”

She shook her head. “No. This isn’t your fault. The way you feel isn’t your fault.” Her words pulled loose something inside me, like a coil of yarn unspooling. “I’m so sorry for the things I said, Thia. I thought, if I was like Mother, if I pushed you…” Her lips pressed firm, her throat bobbing. “It was wrong. I was wrong.”

A shudder racked my body, and I swallowed down a sob. I’d known she hadn’t meant to hurt me with the things she’d said, but it hadn’t stopped the pain.

She met my gaze. “I don’t want you to go, but I can’t see what other choice we have. Everything I’ve read, everything I’ve been told says this is the right decision. We can’t stand against Illucia. They have the Ambriels and Jindae. If they declared war, they would destroy us.”

“What about Trendell? Is Kuren trying to persuade them to fight?” My voice came out hoarse.

Caliza smiled faintly at the mention of her husband. “He’s trying, yes. But the Trendellans are a peaceful people; they want no part in this. I’m sure they don’t want to send their few soldiers to slaughter either.”

“So you’d surrender without a fight instead?”

“This kingdom has already lost so much. It couldn’t survive another war.”

I pulled my knees to my chest. “It won’t survive my marriage either. Illucia won’t settle for a lawful connection to Rhodaire. I don’t know whether they’re forming this bond until they’re ready to attack or what, but this can’t be all they’re planning.”

“I know. But for now, it’s our only option. We both know I couldn’t refuse Razel. If anything, it’ll buy us time to think of something else.”

I bit my lip. “What if we had a crow?”

Caliza went rigid, and I knew I’d said the wrong thing. She stood. “The crows can’t help us, Anthia. They’re the reason we’re in this mess. We were too dependent on them, and now they’re gone.”

“Except they’re not.” I stood too. “I found a storm crow egg.”

Something in her expression flickered, as if considering my words, before her resolve hardened. “Even if you could hatch it, it won’t be enough. You don’t understand what we’re up against. You never have. You shirked your duties as princess even before Ronoch!”