“I can’t. Not right now.” I was too anxious, too overwrought to keep my hands steady, and this was one mixture I didn’t want to spill. Was this what it was like for Caylus? Unable to do the thing he loved because his body wouldn’t comply? Except I didn’t love what I was about to do. I was making liquid fire to burn off a lock so we could sneak into a secret room full of magic.

I looked at my hands, clad in the gloves Ericen had given me, then out toward the open window. Our room faced the front castle yard, the rain pelting stone and glass the only sound. I hoped I’d hear the thunder of hooves at any moment.

“It’s been over two hours, and they’re not back yet,” Kiva said. “That’s a good sign, especially considering they took dogs with them. If they haven’t found her by now, they probably never will.”

I’d told myself the same thing several times, but the words fell flat. Until the team returned empty-handed—until Ericen returned empty-handed—I wouldn’t be able to relax. I doubted Kiva even believed her words, but I didn’t challenge her. This was how she handled things. She stayed calm. Logical. Freaking out was my job.

Another hour passed, during which Kiva convinced me to sit. I complied only because I knew my anxiety made hers worse. I might have been the one pacing, but Kiva’s hands were clenched in fists so tight, the knuckles were white. As we waited, I focused on the thrum of the cord with Res as he slept, letting it center me.

Suddenly, I sat up. I thought I’d heard—there! I leapt from the couch and rushed to the window, the sound of dogs barking mixing with the clatter of hooves and the bellowing of soldiers’ voices. The dim lantern light barely illuminated the procession as it rode into the courtyard in front of the castle. Was that a limp form across the back of that horse or a saddlebag? I leaned closer, but it was no good. I couldn’t see.

“I’m going downstairs.”

Kiva bolted upright. “Sure. And why don’t you just announce to the entire castle how concerned you are with Auma successfully escaping? I’m sure they won’t wonder if you had something to do with it at all.”

I glowered at her and resumed my pacing. She was right, but the knot of nervous energy in my chest was close to bursting. Just when I couldn’t take it anymore, someone knocked. Kiva sprang to her feet, flying across the room to wrench the door open. A rain-drenched and earnest-faced Ericen stood outside.

“We couldn’t find her.” His eyes lifted over Kiva’s shoulder to me. “I thought you’d want to know.”