‘I thought she’d gone on tour?’ she asks.

‘That’s what the note she left said, but what if someone made her write it?’

Mum gives a half laugh. ‘I don’t think anyone can make your sister do something she doesn’t want to and don’t you ever believe that they can. She’s always made her own choices.’

‘He’s been released from prison again.’ The swerve in conversation causes her to blink rapidly but she doesn’t speak. ‘Say something!’

‘You can’t keep living in the past, Leah. He has no interest in you. He didn’t try to hurt you last time, did he?’

My muscles tighten across my upper back.

‘Well, did he?’ she urges.

‘No.’ I give her that. At least she’s making some effort to make me feel better.

‘You have to forgive. Move on.’

‘Forgive? Do you forgive him for what he did to us? All of us? Mum don’t you remember how close we all were… before?’ My emotions stream out of me. I’m ashamed of the longing in my words. Why can’t everything just be like it was?

‘I can’t keep apologizing, Leah. You’re a mum now. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can for your boy, the way that I did for you girls, but sometimes… Sometimes our best isn’t good enough, is it? With all the good will in the world, we can’t always protect our children—’

‘I wish you had. Protected us,’ I say quietly and I feel something inside of me release. It’s been so long since I tried to talk to her about it all, perhaps it’s not too late to salvage our relationship.

She nods. ‘I wish you could forgive me.’

I want to tell her that I want to forgive her and that has to be a start but while I’m searching for the right words she tells me she needs to go in and unpack her shopping.

‘I could help?’ I offer.

‘It’s okay, Leah,’ she hesitates. There’s something on her face I can’t quite read. ‘Try not to worry. Marie will turn up.’ She doesn’t add ‘like a bad penny’ but the connotation is there. It’s not only on my doorstep my twin has turned up drunk in the past.

‘Right,’ I say. There’s a beat. ‘I’ll be off then.’

I walk back down the street towards my car. I turn. Mum is still standing outside her door. Still gripping her shopping, a sad expression on her face.

Something catches my eye, drawing my gaze upwards. I think the bedroom curtain twitched but I can’t be sure.

Chapter Twenty-Six

George

Now

George pulls onto the driveway, feeling a flicker of relief that Leah’s car isn’t here. He’s shattered and can’t take another discussion about the letters. The sightings she thinks she’s seen. His overriding emotion at the police station yesterday should have been sympathy for his wife, instead it was embarrassment. How stunned PC Godley was when he’d read Leah’s notes. His confusion as he tried to process that Leah was convinced that many people were masquerading as one man. PC Godley’s expression had flickered between disbelief and amusement. George had wanted to hit him.