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Back The Snakes Save as PDF
Chapters (42)
  1. Title Page
  2. About the Author
  3. By the Same Author
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. PART ONE
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. PART TWO
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. PART THREE
  29. 21
  30. 22
  31. 23
  32. 24
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. PART FOUR
  36. 27
  37. 28
  38. 29
  39. 30
  40. 31
  41. Acknowledgements
  42. Copyright

‘I fucking hate it. Pretending we don’t have a choice.’

‘I won’t take their money, now or when they’re dead,’ she said. ‘I’m not pretending.’

‘What for? Why?’ he said into her neck. ‘It’s bullshit.’

She wriggled, grinding herself back, into the cushions, to get away. She got her hands between them, and pushed him off. Now he could see her.

‘What is? What’s bullshit?’ she said through tears. ‘Us?’

‘No. No –’ He looked down at his hands. ‘Don’t cry.’

‘I’m not crying.’

‘I can’t do it any more, Bea.’

She untangled herself from him and pulled the T-shirt down over her knees again. ‘What can’t you do?’

Head down, he stared at his clenched fists pressed together, knuckles straining. ‘I can’t pretend I see only what you want me to see. It’s not about loving you or not loving you. D’you not get it?’ He looked up at her.

‘I thought we were happy,’ she said.

‘I hadn’t realised how much it was fucking up my head,’ he said. ‘But I guess it was. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s not your fault,’ she said.

There was silence. They stood outside their marriage, looking in. She got up from the sofa.

‘I’m going to bed. I’m tired.’

‘Yes. We can talk about it tomorrow.’

She didn’t turn. ‘Yup.’

‘I’m sorry it came up like this.’

He switched off the light, and followed her. In their room, she went to the bathroom and did her teeth again, and avoided herself in the mirror. She got into bed in the dark. They were two new people; the ugly rich girl, and her good-looking husband.

‘Goodnight,’ she whispered.

‘Night, babe.’

She had always known she wasn’t strong enough to fight wealth. It was bigger and more beautiful, and it was fierce. Bea wasn’t beautiful or fierce. She was easily overshadowed. She felt his body move behind her, and he stretched. The birds began to sing. The sun would soon be up. She closed her eyes.

20

20

Half asleep, Dan felt Bea get out of bed, and heard her dressing, and then she tiptoed out. When she was gone, the room felt light and easy. He sat up and looked around. It was a heady feeling, opening a vein, and letting out the truth. He’d challenged her and the world still spun. All he asked was that she acknowledged reality, but he was sorry he had made her cry, his timing had been horrible. He picked up his phone and texted her.

Babe, where did you go? Love you.

He added kisses, then got up and made himself some coffee.