“Yes,” I said. “I just wanted to wish Ellie good luck for Monday and … and … to say that I’m sorry.”

My voice cracked and I felt warm tears seep out of the corner of my eyes. Mum pulled over and we parked in a layby.

“Anna?” said Mum, turning around. “What’s happened?”

It took me a while to start, but once I began to tell Mum, I couldn’t stop. I told her about all the things I’d made up and that Ellie now knew everything had been a lie. It was strange, but admitting to what I’d done felt like a huge relief.

“Oh, Anna,” said Mum.

I could see disappointment in her eyes. I looked down at my lap.

“I didn’t get a chance to explain to Ellie why I made those things up,” I said. “I didn’t know she had a hospital appointment. She must be really worried about that. And now I’ve ruined everything!”

Mum twisted around.

“And why did you lie, Anna?” she said. “Why did you make up those things?”

I kept my eyes down. I knew I’d start sobbing if I looked at Mum.

“I guess I just wanted to be like everybody else,” I said. “I wanted Ellie to think I was interesting and that I have a life.”

Henry stopped rolling the tractor along his thigh and stared at me. I think he must have sensed something was going on, even if he was too young to understand what it was.

“Is that what makes someone interesting?” said Mum. “Just because of the number of clubs they go to? Or how much money they have?”

I frowned. “What do you mean?” I said.

“I mean, can’t someone be interesting without all of that?” said Mum.

I didn’t say anything.

“Why do you like Ellie, Anna?” Mum said. “I’m guessing she’s not able to take part in clubs right now.”

I thought about it. “Ellie is different,” I said. “She’s funny and clever and she’s really easy to talk to. She’s got loads of interests like reading and making jewellery and baking.”

“But you used to love reading!” said Mum. “And what about your painting and sketching? You’ve stopped making your beautiful pictures, Anna. Why?”

I shrugged. My head was hurting as I thought about all those things I used to do. “I guess I didn’t think they were enough,” I said.

Mum patted the top of my knee. “You know what, Anna?” she said. “I think that you’ve been so fixated on being someone you think you should be, that you’ve forgotten how to be you.”

Mum smiled at me and then turned around and started the engine. We drove the rest of the way home in silence.

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve